On the Brink
by silver drip
Summary: Sequel to I Think, Therefore I Kink. Eventually Frostiron.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: This is a very unhealthy relationship (though it gets healthier down the line, like way down the line.) Eventually Frostiron, seriously way down the line. **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Lady of the Tower**

The first time Loki met Pepper Potts he was laid out on the hard floor, back pressed against the cold window that made up the south facing penthouse wall. He had been watching Tony talk to Jarvis in the kitchen as he pulled apart a small robot.

He was completely ignored, completely unimportant.

Despite the unyielding floor beneath him and the hollowness inside him, Loki was… comfortable, for a lack of a better word.

His long black hair cascaded over the gold and white marbled floor. His fingers tapped a silent pattern, not able to just stay still. His eyes never moved away from Tony. The other man just seemed so happy, so content in his own little world of mechanics.

"Sir, Ms. Potts is on her way up." Jarvis announced. Tony's hands paused for just a fraction of a second, a smile forming on his face.

"What is she wearing?"

"A cream Couture business dress from the spring 2011 collection. She looks rather fetching, if I may say so." Jarvis reported, dutifully.

"Please tell me she's wearing that bright red lipstick."

"She's reapplying it as we speak."

Somehow Tony's grin became wider. He went to the kitchen sink, washing his hands.

Loki didn't know what to do. Tony had told him that Pepper knew he was there, so he didn't have to hide himself. But he didn't know if her anger towards him would transfer to Tony. And if Tony was angry… he could kick Loki out.

Loki curled up into a ball.

There was no place for him, no realm or house that would willingly take him in.

He could always shape shift. Loki knew this, but he also knew that would only hide who he was on the outside. They'd see who he really was even if his face was hidden.

The sharp clicking of heels pulled Loki out of his musing.

An impeccably dressed woman walked in with an air of confidence around her. She immediately went up to Tony and embraced him.

Loki didn't understand why she reapplied her lipstick just a moment ago, considering the majority of it was now on Tony's face and neck.

"Grease and lipstick, the only things I ever want to stain my shirts." He murmured and Loki only barely heard him. The redhead pulled back, rubbing away the most obvious marks on his skin with her thumb.

"I'd rather you have no stains."

"I'm pretty sure half my stains are your fault, you dirty bird." He nuzzled against her neck and she giggled.

"Oh shut up Tony."

He whispered a few more things to her. It was a very private moment and Loki felt oddly jealous. He made to turn away, but the slight noise caught Pepper's attention.

"What's _that_?" Her words cut straight through him.

"Oh geez, Loki. Is that how they taught you to greet a lady up in Never-Never Land?" Tony covered his face with his hand. Loki scrambled to stand up, brushing away any dust he may have picked up. "I'm sorry Pepper. I should have made him leave the room. It's just so easy to forget he's there sometimes."

An odd combination of emotions overtook Loki. To anyone else they would feel disconcerting, but to him… it drove him feel crazy in the most intoxicating of ways.

His whole body was awash with excited embarrassment, heady lust, and spiraling self-disgust.

"It's fine. You know I'm used to dealing with all sorts." She gave Loki a dismissive look before turning back to Tony. "Besides, I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow."

"Definitely." Tony knocked aside the robot he had been working on for the past few hours and lifted Pepper onto the counter. He paused, just for a moment, looking to the Norse deity. "Go away."

Loki nodded in response, hurrying to his room. The last thing he glances was Tony reaching into the fridge while Pepper blushed madly.

* * *

Pepper (or Ms. Potts, as Tony instructed him to call her) was not around often. The second time Loki saw her it was a month later.

He was in the living room (tired from the thorough fucking he just got), sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. The TV was on, an animal documentary playing that neither Loki nor Tony were paying attention to. The latter was on a tablet, editing schematics. The former was caught in the subtle sensation of his hair being brushed through. Tony lazily twisted and pulled at Loki's dark locks. It was a constant reminder of Tony's presence. Not that Loki could ever forget.

Pepper came in, talking animatedly on the phone. She only stopped briefly to give Tony a quick peck on the cheek before heading to their room.

Once again Loki was jealous of her.

He'd been living in the penthouse for two months and he had still not seen Tony's room.

Loki couldn't fault him for that though.

He wasn't enough… That room was only meant for the people who mattered.

Pepper came back into the living room in casual clothing and Tony immediately pushed Loki away in favor of Pepper, in favor of someone who wasn't a monster. The couple snuggled up together and Loki was left wanting.

Always wanting more.

Want, want, want- That's all Loki seemed to boil down to- a want that was so powerful it bordered on being a _need_.

Loki could hear the couple behind him whisper softly to each other. He tugged at his own hair, pulling it to his limit.

He was painfully hard, curled up into the fetal position, forehead on his knees. He pulled his legs in tighter, just trying to relieve some of the ache.

A calloused hand touched his hands and Loki automatically loosened his grip. Tony ran his fingers through Loki's hair, soothing the ache to his scalp.

It wasn't enough, and Loki just wanted more.

"Relax, just rest." He guided Loki's head so that it was resting against Tony's thigh. It was slightly uncomfortable, but somehow Loki fell asleep just moments later.


	2. Chapter 2

Cooking was sort of Loki's thing now.

It gave him a bit more worth and something to do.

He had a mental list of things Tony did and didn't eat, foods he favored and meals he only ate while drunk.

Today he was making a pressed sandwich slathered in Dijon, honeyed ham, and imported cheese. He cut up an apple adding it to the side, despite knowing Tony wouldn't eat it. Ms. Potts made it very clear to him that there needed to be a fruit or vegetable with every one of Tony's meal.

Loki blended one of the noxious smoothies Tony always drank while coding.

Carefully he gathered the various items and put them on a tray, arranging them nicely.

Jarvis opened the elevator for Loki and took him down to the lab floor. Once there the AI announced his presence, but he had to be granted access in order to enter the lab. He fidgeted as he waited, watching Tony through the glass wall.

He glanced at the oxidizing apple slices and silently cursed himself for not coating them with lemon juice.

Five minutes after he arrived Loki was allowed to enter the cluttered room. The music was surprisingly quiet compared to usual. The change put Loki on edge.

Tony was leaning over a work bench, magnifying goggles over his eyes and a small instrument in each hand. The object he was working on looked delicate and deadly. It was all sharp edges, with a panel open revealing intricate wiring.

He set aside his goggles and looked at Loki from head to toe, frowning until he spotted the tray of food. Setting aside his tools Tony walked over. He picked at the browning apple slices, before turning to the sandwich. Loki was surprised that he didn't comment on the subpar fruit.

Tony motioned for him to place the tray on one of the few empty tables.

"You'd make a terrible housewife." Tony said while watching him. Loki froze as near silent footsteps approached him from behind. A calloused hand slowly wrapped around Loki's throat, squeezing just enough to make it difficult for Loki to breathe. He was pulled backwards against Tony's chest. Loki shivered as an almost electric buzz went through him. "Well, at least you're as pretty as a woman and you do like to take it like- what did you call Tasha again? A mewling quim?" Loki tried to nod in response, but Tony's grip tightened, a silent warning. "Perhaps I should make you my house wife. Hmm, what do you think of that?" As Tony spoke he snaked his arm around Loki's waist, unbuttoning his jeans. "I bet you'd enjoy walking around in a frilly little apron. It would fit your personality better than any armor ever did."

Tony bit into Loki's shoulder, causing the god to let out a broken whimper. He braced his hands against the table, his mind running wild with the thought of what was to come. Tony slipped his hand into Loki's jeans.

"House wife is a bit too prestigious for you though. After all, you're just my house whore at best." Loki shuddered, both from Tony's words and touch. "Do you know what you are at worst?" He brushed his thumb over the head of Loki's dick. "Answer me."

Loki's thoughts were racing, trying to remember every name, every insult Tony had thrown his way. There were so many everyday, ranging from anything as innocuous as Bambi to as crude as cumslut.

"I'm…" He could barely breathe with Tony's hand around his neck. "I'm, just a- a warm hole." Somehow saying those words out loud made Loki's mind fall apart and body become oversensitive.

"Very true, but worse than that…" Tony pulled down Loki's jeans. "You're a distraction and just like any distraction you'll be tossed aside when I'm bored of you." Loki moaned and tried to thrust into Tony's fist. "Stop." The command was accompanied by a death grip on his throat, cutting off Loki's ability to breathe. "Hand me the lube and so help me if you don't have it I'll fuck you with motor oil." Loki fumbled, reaching into his pocket for the small bottle of lube he always carried. Tony released his hold on Loki's neck and the god gasped for air. "Clothes off, now."

From behind him Loki could hear Tony undoing his jeans. Loki pulled off his charcoal grey shirt, folding it precisely he placed it next to the tray of food. As he leaned down to pull off his jeans the rest of the way a slicked finger penetrated him suddenly.

Loki let out a startled moan and pushed himself backwards, impaling himself further. Tony quickly pulled out of him.

"Damn it, Loki. I told you to stop. Control yourself." Tony kicked at Loki's heels and the god understood immediately. He spread his legs and bent his knees slightly. "Better." One of Tony's hands gripped Loki's throat again while the other began prepping him. Loki bit down on his lip and Tony somehow knew. "No, I want to hear you." He let out a long moan as Tony prodded Loki's prostate.

His hold on Loki's throat tightened. The god was torn between meeting the engineer's movements so that he would choke and being still so that he wouldn't have to wait as long to be filled. Tony said he wanted to hear him though. If his airway was blocked further the only noises he'd be making were strangled grunts.

Tony's fingering wasn't enough. Loki's whole body was urging him to move backwards, but he had to keep in control. He had to be useful- being disobedient was not useful. He wasn't useful- He was nothing and eventually engineer was going to throw him away- then he'd have nowhere to go, just a blemish on any realm he went to.

Loki gripped the edge of the table harder, staring at the tray of food in front of him, trying to restrain himself. His legs were shaking as Tony added two more fingers. His vision was starting to blur, both from lack of air and tears.

He wanted to badly to just fuck himself against Tony's fingers, to finally get rid of the lust that addled his mind. Tony kept graze his fingers over the sensitive spot inside Loki, each time making him gasp desperately for more friction and air.

"Please…" Loki rasped out.

"Hmm, did you say something, house whore?" Tony circled around Loki's prostate repeatedly, not touching it. Loki moaned and arched. He was going to die- he was so certain he was going to die it he wasn't filled soon.

"Please Tony, I need more." His words were barely understandable, mangled by sobs.

"What you _need_ is to know your place." Tony pressed two fingers hard against Loki's prostate. His knees buckled as an agonizingly pleasure shot through him. The only things that kept him from completely falling was Tony's grip on his neck and the edge of the table Loki was holding onto. The sudden additional weight on his neck cut off his airway and he flailed, one hand slipping to the side.

He was yanked up by his throat as Tony pulled out his fingers and replaced it with his dick in one smooth motion. Loki's mouth gaped wordlessly as his mind went blank, overwhelmed by the sensation.

His back was plastered to Tony's chest. Loki tried to regain his footing, but each powerful thrust pushed him forward until he fell onto the table, knocking over the smoothie. His dick was trapped between the table and his body. Tony's grip on his throat eased only long enough for Loki to take a breath before it was pushed out him by a well aimed thrust.

It was all too much- his knees hitting the cabinet beneath the table, the pressure on his throat, his dick rubbing against the table, his chest covered in cold smoothie, the darkness creeping into the edges of his vision, the pressure that was building up, being stretched from the inside- trying to meet every thrust-

"Filthy, disgusting, princess-" Each word was said with a perfectly angled thrust. "All of Asgard would be laughing if they saw you right now." Loki whimpered in response, unable to speak. "They'd laugh and jeer- but no one would be surprised." Loki started regaining his footing, but Tony kicked at his ankle causing Loki to fall backwards slightly, impaling himself further. "They all knew you'd end up like this, a quivering mess being fucked up the ass." Loki was pushed harder against the table, the last air in his lungs being forced out.

He was right, Tony was always right.

Loki knew he must look pathetic crying and wordlessly begging for more.

He clawed at the table, trying to grab onto something so he could meet Tony's movements. His mind was blurring, all that he was aware of was his own building orgasm and worthlessness. He was hysterical, cycling from pleasure, self-hate, anger, insignificants, and need- each emotion changing every time Tony thrust into him.

Loki was going to die. He was sure of it. If the lack of air didn't kill him than they explosion of his release would.

The burning of his lungs, the squeezing of his neck, his body grinding into the table, the barrage against his prostate, and the hate filled words of his inadequacy and depravity whispered in his ear.

He was so close that it was painful.

Then Tony abruptly let go of Loki's neck. The god gasped in deeply, clarity hitting his brain before he climaxed so hard he screamed out what little air he had taken in. His mind was imploding into a black hole while his body was being destroyed and put back together all at once- each cell bursting with euphoric release.

The sensation cascaded through him in waves. Every aftershock was as good as the first, reducing him into a twitching being that could only weep and feel.

He was unaware Tony was finished with him until he felt himself slide off the table and onto the floor, dragging the tray of food with him. The plate smashed on the concrete floor and the tray landed on top of him.

Loki's gasps were stuttered and broken. He was trembling. He wanted to curl up into a ball, but his body refused to comply.

His head lolled to the side and he saw the apple wedges beside him, all discolored and abandoned. He felt a strange sense of empathy for them. It was stupid thought and he knew it.

The feeling passed by the time his breathing slowed down. Loki turned onto his side once he was in control of his body once more. Further back in the lab Tony was working again not caring about Loki presence or pathetic state. It made Loki feel both thankful and empty. He forced himself to stand up so he could clean the mess he'd created. The smoothie and his cum were already semi-dry on him.

Loki piled up the broken pieces of plate, sandwich, and apple wedges onto the tray, washing the whole area with a wet cloth, before heading upstairs for a quick shower and to make Tony another meal.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki liked watching the rain. The soft pitter patter of the drops against the glass was soothing. It blurred the outside world that he was uncertain even existed.

He was not aware of the passage of time. The six month anniversary of his invasion would have gone unnoticed if not for Jarvis flipping through the channels while Tony drank his morning coffee. Loki had tried reading his expression, but the engineer did not seem to have seen the news banner that ran on the bottom of the screen.

That had been hours ago though. Tony and Ms. Potts had left earlier dressed in eveningwear. It was dark outside now, dark inside too. Jarvis hadn't bothered turning on the lights for Loki when he sat in the living room. Loki was fine with that. It allowed him to watch the raindrops catch the stray New York lights as they raced down the glass panes.

He was used to the dark anyway. It was all he knew in the Void, other than spiraling madness. At least now he was comfortably snuggled in Tony's favorite seat with a soft blanket wrapped around him. He wasn't cold, thirsty, or hungry. Anywhere he could go people would hate him, and this penthouse was no exception, but at least here he was also accepted. Loki didn't have to hide himself.

Tony accepted him as an easily ignored nuisance and Ms. Potts tolerated him since that was easier than arguing with Tony about Loki's presence. He knew that she could easily sway Tony into throwing him out, or worse locking him away.

Loki did his best to avoid her, but there were some instances where he could not such as when he was in the middle of cooking when she arrived on the penthouse floor. The hall from the elevator to the rest of the floor first opened to the kitchen. He had been in the middle of making crepe batter for breakfast tomorrow when she walked in, immaculate as ever. Loki had moved out of her way when she walked into the kitchen, but had ended up scrambling back over when he realized she was about to use the coffee maker. He quickly unplugged the hand mixer he'd used earlier and plugged back in the coffee maker.

Ms. Potts hadn't commented, but Loki still counted that as a point on the long list of reasons she'd use to convince Tony to kick him out, not that he needed a reason to do so…

Loki was pulled out of his musings by the lights in the hallway coming on. He looked towards it, pushing himself further into his seat and the shadows. A mechanical ping alerted him to the elevator doors opening. He recognized Ms. Potts' giggling and Tony's muffled voice. There was a faint clattering followed by more giggling. A moment later Loki saw the couple. Tony was carrying Ms. Potts in his arms and her face was flushed. His glazed brown eyes made it clear he was intoxicated.

"Pepper Potts, forget-me-notts." Tony crooned to her and she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "Sage green eyes, killer thighs."

"Tony," she pretended to threaten him and he chuckled.

"The softest lips, grab-able hips." Tony spun them around and she let out a shriek. "I love you, yes I do, Pepper Potts." His voice echoed as they disappeared down the hallway and to their bedroom.

Loki bowed his head and brushed his hand through his hair, wishing it was Tony's hand.

"It's not fair…" His words were barely a whisper.

But it was fair. A part of him knew that.

Loki wasn't supposed to get what he wanted. He didn't deserve what he wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

"Bambi, come here." Tony called out, his eyes closed as he laid on the couch. Loki silently moved to him, kneeling beside him. "Give me your hand." Tony placed Loki's hand on his forehead, groaning as the coldness soothed his headache. "I can feel you staring at me. Look somewhere else." Loki held back a sigh and closed his eyes, trying to stay calm.

Loki wanted to rest his head on Tony's chest, hear him breath and his heart beat, but he knew he couldn't. Tony made it very clear when he allowed him to stay that Loki wasn't allowed to touch him without permission.

At least this close he could smell him, could feel the warmth radiating from him.

And it was just the two of them today… Ms. Potts had left earlier in the morning, on the phone as usual.

Now it was just Tony and Loki… Or Tony with his Jotun icepack.

It was something though. He was useful like this at least.

Without having to be told he switched hands. Tony relaxed further.

"What do you have planned for today?" Loki asked then cringed out how meek he sounded. Tony glanced at him.

"Someone's feeling bolder than usual." Before Loki could start mentally berating himself Tony tugged at his arm until Loki was draped across Tony's chest. He carded through Loki's dark hair. "Well, Reindeer Games, once this killer hangover fades I was planning on doing some research, take in a lot of information and see if it ignites any new ideas. That's all for what's on my agenda." Loki could feel Tony's voice rumble against his cheek. "How about you? Do you have any plans?"

"I have no plans save cooking a homemade pizza later tonight." It was comforting, feeling the slight rise and fall as Tony breathed.

"You are surprisingly not terrible at cooking." Loki felt a childlike happiness flutter through his chest because of Tony's compliment. "Jarvis, you might as well start reading to me those articles I bookmarked last night."

"Of course, Sir. Any particular order?"

"Alphabetical, and skip the one published by Dr. Foster. I'm sure we can find an unedited version if we dig around in SHEILD's mainframe."

The AI started droning out on various subjects that did not interest Loki. The only thing that interested him was the man that was allowing him to lean on him. Despite his knees getting sore from kneeling on the marble floor and the tightness in his back from keeping the majority of the weight of his upper body off Tony, Loki was feeling rather peaceful, letting his thoughts be swept away with every brush of Tony's hand through his long black hair.

If only this is how things could be forever. Just him and Tony, no one else to remind Tony just how pathetic Loki is. He'd never be left alone in the corner of a dark room again.

Loki loved this. He loved how easily Tony could make him forget who he is. How he could give him a brief reprieve from the knowledge of his shortcomings with just a soft touch. It was truly amazing.

Loki loved him. He knew he shouldn't, that it would only make Loki feel worse when Tony finally got rid of him, but he couldn't help it. He'd always been a slave to his emotions and this was no exception.

But Tony made it clear on the day he accepted him into his household that he'd never love Loki. In a way that made things a bit easier for Loki. At least he was under no delusions that the sentiment would be returned. That knowledge made it worse too, knowing what he wanted would never be his. Tony had Ms. Potts after all and she was kind, beautiful, determined, and worthy of his love. And he was just Loki, unable to be kind, good looking only on the outside, constantly flip flopping, and wholly unworthy of anything besides disdain.

Loki breathed in deeply, memorizing Tony's scent.

Worst of all one day Tony was going to die and Loki would be left alone all over again. Loki would crawl into some hole in the middle of nowhere and just cry, because once again he'd be lost with no home and no chance of ever finding this sort of peace again.

Without warning Tony pushed Loki off of him while sitting up. The god fell backwards, hitting his lower back against the coffee table.

"J, open a new file and call it: The Xanatos Grid Beta. Order up a ton of copper wiring. Bring up a map of New York and tell Dum-E that daddy has a new project and he'll definitely need the fire extinguisher." Tony said quickly while standing and heading towards the elevator. He was still spouting off instructions when he got into the elevator.

Loki crawled onto the abandoned couch. Once again he'd been discarded. Tony hadn't even offered him a backwards glance.

Loki was nothing more than a murderer and disappointment. He deserved this, to be hated and looked down upon.

The god turned to lie on his stomach, breathing in Tony's scent and squirming. He was hard, Loki was always so hard because of Tony. Because he didn't hide his disdain or pretend to care. He knew how terribly Loki is and still allowed him to stay. He told him the truth when all of Loki's life had been a series of lies.

"Please…" Loki whispered before biting down on his bottom lip. He could imagine that Tony hadn't left, that he was still here holding him. He could picture it as this imaginary Tony pulled him onto the couch until they were spooning. He'd laugh into Loki's ear while groping him.

_"You love me? Do you even know what that means? Or have you just been watching Lifetime again?"_ Loki could almost feel Tony's hand wrap around Loki's hardened member. _"Why do I even bother with you? You're not even that good of a lay."_ Tony would start pumping him at an agonizingly slow pace, continuously whispering in his ear. Loki would swallow down his whimper and try and keep still.

But right now he didn't have to keep still. He wanted to reach inside his jeans and bring himself to completion, but knew Jarvis would report him for being indecent and he'd be kicked out.

Instead he retreated into his own head, submerging himself in the fantasy as he rutted against the couch.

_"That pretty little mouth is not going to hold my attention forever. Tell me, have you ever choked on a dick before? I think I'll make you choke."_

Loki grinded his hips into the couch, straining his legs as he pushed against the armrest to get more friction.

_"Keep that up, Dasher, and I'll lock you in the basement and forget you every burdened me and mine." _

He grabbed onto the pillow, hiding his face in it to keep a moan from escaping as he rubbed himself against the couch harder.

_"You better not get my furniture dirty. I'd rather get rid of you than have to get a new couch."_

Loki arched his lower back into the cushions, thrusting desperately.

_"Fine, you can lay in my bed with me. Just don't act like a cat in heat again."_

With that thought, Loki came embarrassingly quick grinding down into the couch. Instinctively he bucked a few more times trying to draw out his pleasure. When the last of his cum spurted into his jeans he rolled off the couch, not wanting to soil it.

On the ground once more… where he belonged.

"I'm sorry." He hadn't meant to abuse Tony's mercy. Tony had told Loki to never touch him, and he'd done something worse he _made_ Tony touch him, even if it was only in his imagination. "Pathetic- the worst! I'm sorry!" Loki grabbed the pillow off the couch and smothered his words and tears.

He allowed himself to cry in hopes of ridding himself of his guilt and ever present want.

His sobs echoed off the glass walls and marble floors, until it was all he could hear. Even after his eyes had long since dried and exhaustion pulled him into unconsciousness he could still hear it.


	5. Chapter 5

It was another relaxing evening, just the two of them. They were both in the living room, Loki reading on the recliner while Tony laid out on the couch tweaking with Jarvis' base code. The television was on in the background playing a movie loudly that neither was watching.

Loki was humming under his breath to the rhythmic tapping of Tony's fingers over the tablet.

The god could hardly believe his luck. Ms. Potts was set to be gone for the next two weeks, Tony had no meetings scheduled, and no one had attacked the Avengers recently. If things kept going this way he'd have Tony all to himself, if only for a while.

Loki had to use this time wisely, use it so make himself more useful and valuable.

But what could he do?

Tony could read him so easily. Anything Loki did would be seen through immediately.

Loki was used to not getting what he wanted and Tony made it clear he'd never be good enough.

_ "I can promise you one thing, Reindeer Games. No matter what you do, no matter how you try to improve your pathetic self, no one will ever love you, especially not me."_

There had to be a way though. Even if Loki was a monster he knew he was attractive and that Tony thought his magic was interesting. Those had to count for something… they were probably the only reasons he tolerated him this much-

"What the hell is going on here?" Both Tony and Loki looked up at once to see the Black Widow emerge from the hallway, pistol drawn and pointed directly at Loki's head.

"Oh, hey Tasha." Tony looked back down at his tablet, tapping the screen. "Guess I shouldn't have told you that Jarvis would be down for a couple hours. Where's Legolas? Rooting through my underwear drawer?"

"Don't play coy, Stark. What is he doing here?" She reached for her phone and Loki looked to Tony, not knowing what to do.

"Sir," Jarvis' voice said from above. "System reboot successful. All wireless communications blocked. Nesting Doll program initiated."

"I don't need to call back up to put a bullet between your-" The assassin stopped talking mid-sentence, her eyes widening infinitesimally. Loki followed her line of sight to the TV. On screen was an image of the red head in sunglasses sitting across from an older woman who was smiling.

"This photo was taken by one of Stark Industries investigators when you were being considered for the position of my PA. It didn't raise any red flags during the initial background check, but once I learned that you weren't Natalie Rushman I had my investigators dig further." Tony said, setting aside his tablet and sitting up straighter. "What would Barton say if he knew you were still in contact with the wife of one of the Red Room Academy's best instructors?"

"Stop it." Natasha said while lowering her gun and her head.

"Did you know Barton's in love with you? What am I saying? Of course you do."

"Enough, Tony." The gun fell out of her hand, clattering loudly on the ground. "What is it you want?"

"Geez, I hate strong arming people outside of the boardroom." Tony brushed his hand over his goatee. "Come over here and take a seat." Loki watched her carefully as she sat in the recliner across from him. "J, what are the locations of the other Avengers?"

"Agent Barton is trying to infiltrate one of the business floors and the other Avengers are all on floors they have clearance for." Jarvis reported.

"Super. Keep Birdbrain at bay."

"Yes Sir."

Tony sighed loudly and Natasha tensed.

"Blitzen, go get me a drink. The adults need to talk." Tony waved his hand towards the bar and Loki immediately stood up. "You want anything to drink, Tasha?"

"No, I'm fine. Just tell me what's going on and what it will take to keep this- _all_ of this between us." The assassin said while watching Loki move past her.

Loki internally panicked. He was certain that this would be the thing that finally spurred Tony into getting rid of him.

Loki mentally reprimanded himself. He should have been more alert- should have heard her coming. He let his guard down despite knowing that the people that defeated him lived in this building.

"You might want to get one for yourself, Bambi." Tony said as Loki looked at the various decanters, trying to gauge which drink Tony would like best in this situation. After choosing one of the more burning scotches for Tony Loki poured himself a warming brandy.

He could feel the redhead's heated glare as he walked by her and to Tony's side. The engineer smiled in thanks and Loki calmed down a bit, sitting on the floor, leaning his shoulder against Tony's leg without thought.

"Hmm, where should I start?" Tony took a sip of scotch and began idly playing with Loki's hair. He leaned into the touch and tried to ignore the hate filled look Black Widow was giving him. It made him antsy and mildly aroused.

"Start with why you're harboring one of SHEILD's most wanted."

"Awfully demanding considering you're at the disadvantage in this negotiation." Tony snorted. "I suppose you can say that this lost little god is here because I pity him." Tony pulled on Loki's hair till he was looking up at him. "Why don't you tell Tasha why you're here." It was a command. Loki brought his knees up to his chest to hide his growing erection.

He glanced at the assassin before taking a sip of his drink, trying to find the right words.

"I… I am here because Tony allows me to be." He said and could feel a blush heat up his face.

"Now, now no need to pretend to be more than you really are. Tell the lady why you're really here." Tony's hand drifted from Loki's hair to the back of his neck, giving him a warning squeeze.

"Because I'm a blemish on the nine realms and this is the only place where I'll be tolerated." Loki glanced backwards at the engineer who nodded. Warmth bloomed in his chest at Tony's silent approval.

"That doesn't explain why you're keeping a murderer here."

"As my former PA you are well aware I'm a sucker for a pretty face and tight body- even if he's useless and not worth the money I spend to feed him." Loki hid his face against Tony's thigh and pulled his legs closer to his body. "He couldn't hurt a fly- or more accurately I'd break him then cast him out if he ever did anything unacceptable." Loki squeezed his legs, trying to hold back his anxiety at the thought of being alone again. "Tell her the rules of my household."

Loki hesitantly peeked up at the assassin before speaking.

"Six rules: I'm not allowed to talk to Ms. Potts unless she talks to me first, I'm only allowed on this floor of the tower and the lab, but only when Tony's there, I'm not allowed to go into their bedroom, I'm not allowed to touch anyone, I have to be clean and dress proper, and I have to always carry a bottle of lube with me." Loki counted them off on his fingers as he spoke. The redhead gave him an unreadable expression that made Loki want to hide against Tony again.

This was too much. He wasn't supposed to be excited by simply stating the rules Tony had set in place for him. He wasn't supposed to get hard because someone glared at him and Tony pulled his hair.

"Let me get this right, a war criminal shows up on your doorstep and offers to become you sex toy and you don't think that's some sort of trick? You even let him into your lab?" Natasha said, her hands balling into fists. Loki wanted to defend himself, tell her that he wasn't capable of tricking Tony, but he knew she wouldn't listen, that he wasn't trustworthy enough to be heard.

"Technically I invited him here and he knew exactly what that invitation entailed." Tony leaned forward to whisper in Loki's ear. "Honestly, Bambi, you're so bothersome. You've got one of the world's best assassins annoyed at me. It might just be easier to hand you over to SHEILD or your brother." His voice dropped lower. "Ya know… I have countless hours of you getting fucked up the ass recorded. I could make the whole world laugh at you with just the click of a button."

Loki gasped and he felt lightheaded at the prospect.

"Please…" Loki's lips trembled and he just wanted to be filled, to get rid of the pressure that was already building up inside of him without even being touched.

"Please? Please what? Please fuck you? Please throw you out? Please release the videos? You really ought to be more specific."

"Please… anything, I- I just _need_." He was close to just crawling onto Tony's lap and rutting against him.

"Anything?" Tony's grin had a malicious glint to it that made Loki want to bend over and take whatever was coming.

"Anything, please-"

"Then be quiet. I still haven't finished talking to Agent Romanoff yet. You may touch yourself, but keep it in your pants. We don't want to scare her off, now do we?" Loki palmed himself, letting out a relieved groan. "Now, where were we Tasha, before we were so rudely interrupted…" The god turned his head slightly to watch the engineer toy with her. "Of course! We were discussing why I allowed him here." Tony chuckled. "Well, the why of it is irrelevant. He's staying until I say otherwise and you're not going to breathe a word of this to anyone else or I'll send your world crashing down around you.

"You may not be trading secrets, but SHEILD wouldn't care about that when they saw this photo. I own the three banks you have lockboxes in and I'm aware of all your get away funds. I have more dirt on you, but there's no need for me to reveal my hand. If I should die suddenly or if my stuff," he glanced pointedly at Loki, "should be taken from me all this information will be released to SHEILD and information about that job you did in Ostrov in 1998 will be sent to the Toporov family. They employ excellent assassins and would be more than happy to take their revenge." Loki stroked himself faster, loving this new side of Tony. "All you have to do is keep silent and just tell Fury that Jarvis came back online before you could do whatever it was that you were planning on doing. How does that sound to you?"

Natasha sat motionless, her eyes flickering between the surprisingly devious engineer and the wanton god. She took in a slow breath before releasing it at an even slower pace.

"Fine. I know when I'm beaten. All I ask is that you tell me if he ever gets out of hand or if you want to get rid of him." The assassin stood up, feeling shaken in a way she hadn't been since she was a child.

"Will do." Tony watched her carefully as she headed to the elevator. "Oh and Tasha," she paused, looking back at him, "I'll be setting up a college fund for little Nathan." Her eyes widened and Loki could see genuine fear in them. "Don't worry. I'd never hurt a kid." Tony raised his glass up in a mock of a toast. "Don't let it be said that I never did anything nice for you."

Natasha's shoulders slumped and she quickly retreated.

Tony glanced to the deity on the floor. He was still desperately touching himself.

"Please... Tony, please…" Loki begged clawing at the couch with one hand and touching himself with the other. Tony stood up, glass still in hand.

"Pathetic." Tony abruptly pushed Loki over with his foot. "I can't even look at you right now." Loki gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ingrain Tony's look of disgust to the back of his eyelids. He could hear Tony walking away and it only made Loki ache more for his touch.

"Tony…" He moaned and begged all at once, already so close. The engineer did not acknowledge him, only continued on his way. Loki finally undid his jeans and slipped his hand inside.

Tony had defended him, even if it was for selfish reasons. He threatened one of his comrades for Loki. The god's whole mind was spinning chaotically, trying to make sense of it all. Tony protected him and then quickly pushed him away.

Then he remembered Tony called him 'his stuff' and the pieces fell into place again. Tony was defending him the same way he'd defend anything that he owned. It wasn't because he liked Loki, it was because he didn't like people touching his stuff.

Loki rocked his hips into his hand, wishing it was Tony's hand, yet glad that it wasn't so that Tony wouldn't see him this broken and pitiful. Why did he always blubber like a baby whenever he was close to coming? He was so ashamed, yet the need to come was driving him crazy.

He'd never be good enough, never worthy of more than just a glare, getting fucked was a privilege, not a right-

Loki's pace picked up.

This is where he belonged, on the floor and desperate, fucking his hand and crying.

He'd never be more than this- and with that thought he came, moaning Tony's name.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki stared intently at the cookbook, making sure he was doing everything right. More than ever he had to do this right. Tony loved Ms. Potts and she had the flu. If Loki served her subpar chicken noodle soup he'd be furious.

The god took a tentative sip of the soup and was satisfied with the results. He chucked the soiled spoon into the sink before grabbing a bowl and clean silverware. He scooped up a hardy helping for her before placing it on a tray along with a cup of hot tea.

He carefully carried it down the hallway then hesitated in front of the bedroom door. During his whole stay here he'd only caught glimpses of its interior. It was a sacred place and Loki would only taint it.

He lightly knocked on the door and Tony granted him access. Loki tried not to swing his head around, staring at every inch of the room- the large TV on mute playing the news, the discarded clothes at the foot of the bed, the disheveled sheets, trashcan full of used tissues, the mini-fridge in the corner, Ms. Potts' propped up in bed with a book, Tony sitting in an armchair that had been in the living room earlier in the day. The engineer's legs were propped up on the bed, his feet barely touching hers.

Tony took the tray from Loki and quickly situated it in front of the strawberry blond woman. Tony read her expression as she took a sip of the chicken noodle soup. She faintly nodded.

"Tony, you could always take him to the charity ball. He's a shape shifter after all." She said after blowing on the steaming tea.

"What? And risk him sullying your image and reputation? No way." Tony flicked his hand dismissively, ignoring Loki's presence behind him.

"Loki, come here." Ms. Potts called for him and Loki completely froze, not used to being directly talked to by her. He glanced at Tony who gave him an annoyed look for not immediately complying. He walked to Pepper's side, standing between the couple. She took one of his hands in her own. Loki stared at their joined hands, not used to such a tender touch. "You can shape shift into anyone, right?"

"Yes." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, feeling awkward in comparison to how composed she looked despite being sick.

"Perfect, there's a charity ball tonight that Stark Industries is hosting. As the CEO I'm expected to be there, especially since this is my pet project. You'll pretend to be me and go as Tony's date. You don't have to talk to anyone or make any speeches." Her kind smile lost its softness, making Loki tense up. "If you mess this up you won't like what comes after it." She let go of his hand.

"Jarvis, pull up some footage of Pepper at various events and put them on screen in the living room. Reindeer Games may know how to take it like a woman, but I doubt he knows how to act like a lady."

"Footage from the last five charity balls have been uploaded on screen, special emphasis on decorum." The AI announced.

"Thanks." The CEO and engineer began promptly ignoring Loki. He easily got the hint and left, casting one last glance around the room.

As expected everything was already set up when Loki got to the living room. Loki tugged a soft blanket around him, settling himself on the couch.

The videos were exceedingly boring with no audio. He learned that Ms. Potts always sandwiched someone's hand with her own two when she shook hands, that she never drank more than one champagne flute, she was a wonderful dancer, but usually declined any invitation to do so.

Loki tried to pay attention to her, but his eyes kept drifting to Tony. He'd never seen him so… charming. Even without hearing him Loki could tell that every word he spoke impressed.

It occurred to Loki that Tony could probably charm them all if he wanted to. He could rule them all, but he chose not to. He knew the limitations that leadership instilled.

Tony could lead, but chose not to. Loki tried to lead, but wasn't strong enough to do so. It was just another one of the countless ways Tony was better than him…

Loki watched the videos on a loop until Jarvis announced he needed to get cleaned up for the event. When he got out of the shower there were a pair of heels and a dress hanging on the door, waiting for him. With an ease that came from years of practice Loki shifted his form. He examined himself dispassionately in the mirror. Different face, same person.

Jarvis told him to go to the living room. Ms. Potts was waiting for him there, a makeup bag in hand. She smiled amused.

"So this is what it feels like to have a twin." She gestured for him to sit down before she started doing his makeup. He'd never been this close to her before and he made a special effort not to make any movements that may startle or annoy her.

Shortly after Ms. Potts had finished Tony walked around the corner, fixing his cufflink.

"Pep, a little help?" He gestured to the unknotted bowtie around his neck. She went over to him while sniffling and easily tied it properly. "You sure you're going to be fine here by yourself?" Tony asked, gliding his hand up her bare arm.

"I'll be fine. It's you two I'm worried about." Tony glanced at Loki who was still sitting on the couch, legs crossed the way Ms. Potts always did.

"Don't worry. He'll be on his best behavior and I'll keep him within arm's reach at all times." As he spoke he looked at Loki in a clear warning. Loki couldn't afford to mess this up.

"I'll be good." He assured them, trying to look demure.

"See, everything is going to be just fine. Now go back to bed and get better so that we can lots of awesome celebratory sex tomorrow." He started steering her back to their room.

"Celebratory?"

"The Burke group is going to be there tonight. I plan on wrapping up negotiations with them before the silent auction begins." For some reason the redhead scoffed. "Come on, you know their CFO loves me and I think his daughter is trying to get into MIT. One call from me and she's in. I can close this deal."

"Oh, I have no doubt that you can. You are aware that this is a charity function, usually people don't like conducting business during those." Pepper said and it was Tony's turn to scoff.

"If they had it their way, all their employees would work through Christmas." He gave her a brief kiss on the cheek. "Go to sleep and I'll join you in a few hours, okay?"

"Fine, just be sure to keep that _thing_," she pointed to Loki with her thumb, "out of trouble." They disappeared around the corner and Loki relaxed a bit.

Tony reappeared a moment later, a long coat draped over his arm.

"That's one of Pepper's favorite dresses so don't spill anything on it." Tony said to Loki while handing him the coat. He put it on and briefly admired the quality of the material. It was finer than the things Tony usually provided him with.

Tony tugged on his arm and Loki followed him obediently.

It had been so long since he'd been outside of the tower. Everything was surprisingly loud and he was grateful when he was ushered into the spacious black car waiting for them.

"Ms. Potts." The driver said kindly. Loki nodded with a smile, playing his part.

Inside the car Tony sighed and leaned back in his seat, eyes falling shut. Loki sat beside him, but kept distance between them so that he wouldn't be tempted. He wanted to reach out and assure Tony that everything would be fine, but knew his words would just fall on hollow ears.

Instead Loki just stared out the window at the dark city. There were no obvious marks of his misguided invasion and everyone looked either happy or in a hurry. Some were smoking cigarettes and Loki fleetingly wondered what the appeal was.

When the car stopped and the driver opened the door Loki moved to get out, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't fuck this up." Tony warned once more.

Loki nodded before exiting the vehicle. He was surprised by how many people were outside, flashing cameras and shouting questions. It was overwhelming, but Loki was quickly centered again when Tony looped his arm around Loki's waist. Tony waved at the various people with a well rehearsed smile in place.

They all called out for him and Tony responded to each of them with short answers that were hollow yet charming.

So this is what admiration felt like, what it felt like for the public to love him instead of see him as the shadow of a greater being. It was breathtaking and short lived when he realized they were admiring Ms. Potts and Tony, not Loki.

Inside the large building a well dressed man helped Loki take off his coat.

Loki enjoyed the most likely subconscious touches Tony kept giving him. He'd touch Loki's arm and hand periodically as if checking to see if he (Pepper) was still there. He'd brush against his (Pepper's) hip. While talking to others Tony would bring him (her) closer, as if trying to include Loki (Pepper) into the conversation. And then he'd falter in his touches, remembering that the oddly silently person beside him was in fact not his lover. Loki could always see when he remembered. There would be the quickest flicker of disgust in his eyes before he hid it once more. When that happened Loki always looked down at his half full champagne flute and calmed himself. Now was not the time to be wanton, especially when he was pretending to be someone as regal as Ms. Potts.

Loki shamelessly took advantage of the situation and hoped that Tony wouldn't notice. He held onto the crook of Tony's arm the way he'd seen Ms. Potts do in most of the videos. He didn't hide the unbridled love in his eyes when he looked at the engineer. He laughed freely at Tony's jokes and fixed his bowtie when it became crooked. He wanted to steal a kiss from him, but knew that would be pushing things too far, especially since Ms. Potts never showed that level of affection in public.

"Come on. I have to make a speech." Tony whispered to Loki, clasping Loki's hand which was resting on the crook of Tony's arm. Loki silently followed him. When they reached the privacy of backstage Tony immediately dropped Loki's hand and put distance between them. At the edge of the stage he handed Loki his half finished drink. "Wait here."

Tony brushed down the front of his tuxedo before the woman on stage announced him. There was a rush of applause which Loki joined in on as Tony walked to the podium.

Loki watched on in admiration as Tony made a speech about clean energy and the importance of the next generation. He was more watching the man then actually listening to the speech- until he felt a dark presence sneaking up behind him. Loki glanced at the metal rigging of the curtains and saw the reflection of a man dressed in a tuxedo. Loki didn't react until he was standing next to him.

"I thought you were supposed to be making this speech." The man said with a tone that meant they knew each other, but weren't particularly close.

"Sore throat." Loki lied effortlessly, taking a sip of champagne to burn time until Tony came back.

"So what is SI working on now-a-days? I find it hard to believe clean energy is your only focus." He moved closer to Loki, smiling almost conspiratorially.

"Clean energy is important for the future and a field in need of improvement." It was a line Tony had said not ten minutes prior. Loki was starting to feel panic edge closer to him. If he said the wrong thing this man would know something was wrong- and if he knew Tony would definitely know and Loki would be the one to suffer because of it.

Thankfully Tony finished his speech and headed over to them. He gave Loki a brief nod before glaring at the unnamed man.

"Hammer, I pulled out of the weapons industry and let you have my leftovers. You trying to steal my CEO now?" Tony asked while pulling the look alike to his side. Loki melted against him, not able to help himself.

"Just discussing business, nothing having to do with you." Hammer smiled with too many teeth.

"Yeah, because my name isn't the same as the company's or anything." Tony rolled his eyes before placing his hand on Loki's lower back and guiding him away. "Be sure to donate a hefty penny, Justin. You might as well do something nice in your life for once."

"Yeah, you too Tony." Loki could tell that Hammer was searching for a good comeback, but the moment went by too quickly and he was left with only his drink in his hand.

"I tried not to talk to him-" Loki said in a panicked whisper when they were out of hearing range.

"Stop, stand up straight. Pepper would never be seen in public slouching." Loki corrected his posture. "Just tell me what you said."

"That I wasn't making the speech because my throat is sore and that clean energy is important. Is that okay? I'm sorry I didn't know what to do-"

"Hush Bambi." Tony pulled Loki into his arms and the god caught his breath. "You did a good job. Hammer is just a weasel. Pep would have handled him the same way." Tony ran his hand down the exposed skin of Loki's back. The god sighed contently, feeling warm and almost loved. "The night is only half over though. You have to keep up the act. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, I can do that, anything for you." Loki whispered, not wanting to let go of him. Tony kissed him on his forehead and Loki was certain this must be a dream.

"I'm so proud of you, Loki." The god gasped, completely freezing. Tony had never referred to him by name before, not directly at least, and definitely not while they were embracing. "All you needed was a firm hand and proper incentives." Tony kissed him again, this time on the cheek. It took everything Loki had not to turn to meet Tony's lips with his own. The engineer pulled back and Loki bit his lip to keep from whimpering at the loss of contact. "The silent auction is about to begin. Everyone is waiting for us."

Tony laced his fingers with Loki's and walked with him back to the crowded room. Even as Tony began talking to various people he never let go of Loki's hand- something he didn't even do when he was with Ms. Potts. He didn't let his hand go the whole night, and Loki couldn't help but feel that maybe there was actually hope, that maybe Tony might feel at least the slightest affection for him.


	7. Chapter 7

Loki slipped on Ms. Potts' coat, still disguised as her as they exited the charity ball. Tony was on the phone talking to investors on the other side of the world, but still had his arm draped around Loki's waist.

As the car door closes, isolating them Tony immediately pulls away from Loki- and just like that Loki's happy daze came to an end.

Months ago he had stumbled upon a movie about a girl who was hated by those who were supposed to be her family, then she met a prince with the help of her fairy godmother, everything went perfectly until the clock struck midnight. This was Loki's midnight- and he knew there was no glass slipper waiting to make him the apple of Tony's eye.

Loki's fairy tale was over before it could ever really begin.

He felt foolish and worse than that he felt childish. To be foolish meant he knew better, to be childish meant he'd been blindsided. He should have seen this coming. He should have _known_ this is how it was going to be.

Loki was playing dress up after all, pretending to be the lucky princess, _wanting_ to be her.

Oh how the Aesir would laugh at him if they knew he was playing at being a woman again. They never understood that he was male, no matter what form he appeared in, not that, that mattered anymore. He was hoping to never see any of them again.

Tony ended his call and tossed the cell phone onto one of the open seats, dropping his showman's façade.

"Did I…" Loki gulped away the tightness in his throat. "Did I do alright?"

"Don't fish for complements. It's unsightly." Tony said, his eyes fixed on the blurring outside world. Loki nodded mutely. He'd just have to hold onto the complements he got earlier from Tony. They would sustain him for now, or at least until he could retreat to his own room.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Loki last saw Tony and Ms. Potts.

The Avengers had been busy with some villain named Ultron. Tony didn't have time to come back to the tower and Ms. Potts was staying at their house in California to play it safe. Loki was left all alone, watching the news daily for any information about Tony. Apparently his company was under attack and Dr. Banner had been captured. Director Fury also made the news, saving the president's life. There was a new hero, Ant-Man fighting against Ultron with the Avengers.

Loki wanted to help, to end this whole ordeal so that things could go back to normal, but knew he'd only get in the way.

When Ultron was finally 'neutralized' as the reporters called it, Loki expected Tony to come back home that night or the day after, but it had already been three days.

Loki was sulking, buried beneath a pile of pillows and blankets on the couch.

"Sir will be returning shortly." Jarvis announced and Loki stuck his head up out of his nest of warmth and fluff. He used a quick spell to clean up the area, making it look the same as it did the last time Tony saw it. "You are to go to your room, close the door, and remain silent until told otherwise." Loki opened his mouth, wanting to protest, but knew he had no grounds to do so.

Glumly he did as instructed, laying on his bed, tugging the single sheet that made up his bedding over his head, hoping to fall asleep.

Sleep did not take him though. Twenty minutes later he caught the first hint of Tony coming home, but instead of hearing the engineer talking to Jarvis the voice that responded to him was female, and definitely not Ms. Potts'.

"Tina will be here soon. She had to catch a cab from the East side." Loki could faintly hear a woman say.

"That's alright. I'm sure you can keep my occupied until you sister gets here." There was the distinct clicking of two glasses being placed on the bar. "No, leave on the garter belt and stockings." The woman giggled and Loki felt sick. "Look at that, a perfect set."

"Are you referring to my breasts or me and my twin?"

"Your breasts, still haven't seen your sister yet. Come on, my room is this way. Jarvis will direct Tina up here when she arrives."

Loki covered up his ears, squeezing his eyes shut, not wanting to acknowledge what was surely going on. He retreated to the en suite bathroom and laid in the bathtub.

He wasn't enough, Loki was never enough. Of course Tony would get bored of him, possibly even completely forgetting about him. Of course he'd turn back to women, not as messy and didn't need to be prepared more than a bit of foreplay. All the old news articles Loki had read about Tony made his preference for women clear. He knew Tony considered him to be a woman despite his evident anatomy. Of course Tony would get bored with Loki coming all over his stuff.

He'd lost his usefulness. This was surely his last night- and then what would Loki do? If he wasn't captured again he'd be alone with nowhere to go.

He'd stay in New York! Yes, somewhere close enough to see Stark Tower and Iron Man take off from it. At least than he'd be close to where he used to be happy, make it easier to remember the good times.

Acquiring an apartment wouldn't be too hard. He was well versed in schemes and cons. But after that, what could he do? Staring up at Stark Tower would surely just be torture, always seeing but never being able to touch or be touched.

Oh Norns, if Tony kicked him out no one would ever touch Loki again. His life would just be how Tony described it the first time they spoke: all alone with just his self-hatred and hard-on.

At some point during the night Loki fell into a fitful rest, his dreams undefined yet chilling.

"Sir has issued new instructions from his cellular device." Jarvis said, startling Loki awake. He almost hit his head on the water spout, feeling idiotic for having fallen asleep in the tub.

"Yes?" Loki asked, pulling himself up.

"You are to shape shift into a human dissimilar to your own guise, but not of an actual individual. Sir has two guests in his bedroom that he wishes to leave post haste."

"And he wants me to…" He couldn't get this wrong. There was still the chance that Tony wasn't planning to kick him out.

"Politely coax them from his bed and to the elevator. I recommend you take on a female form, as it can be quite disturbing for a woman to wake up naked and see a man she does not know." Jarvis said. Loki nodded and quickly changed into a short blond woman.

"Am I allowed to mention his relationship with Ms. Potts?" Loki asked while slipping off his jeans and tying his belt around his waist to make the oversized shirt into a laid back dress.

"That is acceptable. There are disposable coffee cups in the kitchen. Ms. Potts usually offers up a cup of coffee as she gets rid of last evening's distraction, in this case, two distractions." Jarvis sounded vaguely amused.

"This happens often?"

"That question is irrelevant. The coffee is roasted and waiting to be dispensed. Best not waste any more time." Even the AI knew he wasn't worth being polite to.

Loki took a deep breath as he poured two cups of coffee, fixing them the way Ms. Potts usual took hers. If this is what he'd been reduced to… the one who got rid of Tony's one nightstands Loki could live with that. At least he'd still be in his life, even if it meant Loki was left untouched.

The bedroom was wide open, with a trail of clothing leading to the bed. There were three occupants, Tony in the middle with a blond to his left and brunette to his right. The two women were still asleep while Tony was awake, leaning against the headboard working on his tablet. He glanced at Loki, nodding briefly.

"Hello ladies," Loki used that word loosely, "I'm afraid this is the end of the night for you two." The brunette was the first one to stir.

"Round three?" She asked, ignoring Loki.

"No round three." Loki cut in, imitating Ms. Potts when she was annoyed at Tony. "It's half past ten and Tony has many things on his schedule, none of which include a third round."

"Are you sure?" She looked at Tony with wide eyes, letting the bed spread fall off her, revealing ample cleavage.

"I'm sure you don't want to be done here when Ms. Potts, Tony's lover gets back home." Loki raised his voice and the other woman woke up.

"Mina, what's going on?" The blond asked.

"Lame-sauce. We have to go. Tony's girlfriend is going to be here soon."

"No third round?"

"No third round." She informed her sister.

"You need to hurry. She'll be here soon." That spurred the two women into action. They shamelessly got out of bed, nude save stockings on one and a pair of heels on the other. "I've made you some coffee. It's waiting by the elevator." Loki gestured for them to follow him.

"Bye Tony. Call us sometime." One of the sisters said, trying to be seductive. It made Loki's anger flare up.

"Mr. Stark does not double dip." Loki said, before he could stop himself. He thought he'd gone too far until he heard Tony snort. The women pouted, but followed him out, taking their cups of coffee before getting onto the elevator. Loki hesitated for a moment, before heading back to check on Tony. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" He tried to sound appealing, but his words just came across as awkward.

"Yeah, get out of that form. If I wanted a blond I'd get one. Cook me up something and then we're going to the lab." Tony waved him off while getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom, Loki took a brief second to admire his body before leaving.

He changed back to his usual form and into clothing that were less wrinkled. Mindlessly he made enough food for the both of them. Tony walked in just as Loki finished cooking and plating the hardy meals. Tony very rarely sat down to eat, so the few times he did Loki was always sure to cook plenty of food.

Breakfast was eaten in silence and Loki's thoughts teetered between worry and lust.

"Get undressed." Tony said when they were down in the lab. Loki complied, watching as the engineer adjusted some machine. Loki fidgeted once he was nude. "Calm down, Reindeer Games. We're here to work, not play." If anything that made him more anxious. Loki knew what to expect when it came to play, but work was something else all together. "Stand over there." Tony pointed to a circled off area surrounded by machines.

When he entered the circle there was a flash of light and Loki half thought that a picture had been taken of him, but dismissed that when he felt subtle rays of light ghost over his skin.

He looked to the engineer in question, but he was staring at a screen intently.

"Shape shift into someone else." Tony ordered, his tone distant. Loki changed into one of the women from earlier, hoping to get a reaction from Tony. He didn't even look up from his screen. "Good, now someone shorter." There was another flash of light. "Try something heavier, a gorilla or something." Tony clicked a few more buttons as Loki shifted. "Is there a noticeable strain each time you change? Loss of energy? Physical strain?"

Loki had to change back to his usual form before he could respond.

"It weakens my reserves, but I'm well versed in shape shifting so I know how to do so efficiently. The physical strain is minimal so long as I'm not confined." He answered, feeling less and less like a person and more like a bug being dissected. He wouldn't complain though. At least he was holding Tony's attention- and his state of undress could lead to more than just science.

"Can you change from a solid to a liquid or gas?" Tony asked, finally looking away from the screen and to Loki.

"That's a whole different type of spell. With shape shifting the closest I can get is by becoming a jellyfish or some other water based organism. I can turn myself into gas, but not a liquid."

"Sublimation… interesting." Tony hummed in thought. "Why can't you change into a liquid?"

"It is too dangerous to do so. Liquids require containment in order not to fall apart. Their fixed volume makes it so that without containment-"

"They go everywhere. And gas can be compressed and decompressed. You can control the gas' volume so it doesn't need to be contained the way liquids would." Tony said, cutting Loki off. He was once again impressed by the engineer. "With a liquid you're static, but as a gas you can change your volume and create movement."

"Exactly." Loki tried to hold back his smile, but couldn't help himself. He never had anyone he could really discuss the principles behind his magic with. It was very refreshing.

"Let me see it." Tony ordered and Loki changed to a dark fog that could easily be mistaken for a shadow if placed correctly. "Change back." The machines flashed as Loki became solid again. "Which type of transformation costs more energy when disregarding your personal efficiency in shape shifting? I'd assume the state change would cost more energy."

"Yes, changing to a gas cost substantially more. I could only do so half a dozen times in one day before I start risking my health."

"Fine. Switch two more times, twenty second intervals." The sigh was evident in Tony's voice, but Loki could feel his eyes on him, watching intently as he shifted back and forth. "Jarvis, put these readings under the Shifty Bastard file on my private server."

"Yes, Sir."

"Come here, Dasher." Tony called to him and Loki immediately complied, standing right in front of him, completely nude. "Turn around." Loki heard Tony stand. He could feel the engineer just a step behind him. Tony guided Loki's arms up, making him look like the Vitruvian Man. "Tell me, what have you been doing while Pep and I were gone?" Tony's words were accompanied by a single finger tracing the contours of Loki's upper back. His body came alive at the barest touch.

"Waiting." Loki answered honestly.

"More details." Tony's finger ghosted over the notches of Loki's spine.

"Reading, watching the news, and sleeping on the couch." Tony's finger dipped down to the small of Loki's back, making the god's breath hitch.

"I give you a perfectly good bed and you sleep on the couch?" Tony traced his way up, circling Loki's shoulder before moving to his outstretched arm.

"I wanted to be there when you got back." Loki could see Tony's reflection. His brown eyes were analytical, devoid of the lust Loki was sure his own eyes were shinning with. His heart was already racing under Tony's attention.

"And why do you assume I'd want you to be the first thing I saw once I got home after such a long fight?" Tony flattened his hand against Loki's arm, before wrapping his hand around Loki's wrist, pulling his arm back down to his side. After a moment he pulled the other one down too.

"I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to see you." Loki could hardly concentrate as Tony's hands grabbed onto his hips, before letting go and taking a step back.

"Turn around." Loki didn't meet the engineer's eyes, embarrassed by how excited he was while Tony was dispassionate. "Your eyes are rimmed red. Have you been crying recently?" Had he? Loki cried so often that it was hard to keep track.

"No, not today. I just didn't sleep well."

"And why is that?"

"I slept in the bathtub." Loki cringed as he spoke, not sure what sort of reaction he would get.

"You must really hate your bed. If you're not going to use it I might as well have it removed, donate it to someone who would be grateful to have it."

"I'm grateful- Tony I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me-" The god sunk to his knees, begging for Tony to understand.

"I know, I know." Tony crooned to him and Loki calmed down, feeling silly for overreacting. "You need to remember that I know you better than you know yourself." Tony pushed back a tendril of Loki's hair behind his ear, letting his hand linger on the kneeling god. "I always know what you need, how to keep you out of trouble, and keep you from hurting yourself or others. You know that, right?"

"Yes." Loki whispered.

"I'm risking a lot by allowing you to stay in my home. Clint would kill me if he knew I was shielding you." Tony softly cupped Loki's face and the god leaned into the touch.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure he'd actually spoken aloud until Tony responded.

"I know." Tony continued cradling Loki's chin, randomly thumbing his high cheekbones and moist lips. "You poor affection starved creature." Tony sat down in his chair, just a few feet away from Loki. "Two weeks of relatively no physical activity and you haven't lost any muscle mass or definition. Color me impressed." Tony stroked his goatee in thought. "Come here, sit on my lap. I want to look at you closer."

Long limbs and pale skin filled Tony's vision as Loki straddled his thighs. Once again Tony traced Loki's contours, a single finger slowly glided over his collar bone, circling his pectorals. He brushed his thumbs against Loki's nipples, causing the god to let out a whimper of need. Tony ignored him, a hand dipping lower to touch Loki's tense abs. He ignored the place Loki wanted him to touch the most and Loki did his best not to quiver under his soft caresses. Tony finally rested his hands on Loki's hips, idly reaching backwards to touch the dimples on the small of Loki's back and spread his legs further apart.

"Lovely, absolutely lovely. Such a contrast with who you are on the inside though. If it was effortless to look this good the concept of making one's self look good on the inside must be odd. It's common actually, a good looking person having a shallow, terrible personality. Not many have gotten so bad as you though."

"How did you avoid it?"

"Look at you using that silver tongue of yours." There was a glimmer in Tony's eye that almost looked proud. It made Loki feel bold.

"I've been told I have quite the talented tongue."

"And you're flirting? You must be really happy to have me back home."

"I'm ecstatic." Loki admitted and Tony's eyes brightened as he laughed.

"Sir," Jarvis interrupted, "there is a disturbance on the roof."

"On screen." Tony leaned back in his chair, one hand resting on Loki's thigh. The god tensed up when the screen flickered to life showing the crown prince of Asgard. The blond was hitting the lone door on the roof.

"He is requesting access and wants me to warn you of Loki's presence. He has tried contacting SHIELD, but I have blocked all outgoing communications."

"No, please… Tony don't let him take me back!" Loki curled up around Tony, burying his face in the crook of the engineer's neck. "If I'm captured I don't know how long it will take for me to escape again- They might decide to just execute me-"

"Shh, calm down Bambi." Tony crooned to the god while rubbing his back soothingly.

"Please, Tony! I don't want to go! I don't want to be alone again!"

"Hush. I need you to be strong and confidant."

"Confidant?"

"Yes, confidant, if not in yourself than in me." Tony glided his hand up until it was resting on the back of Loki's neck, massaging it gently. "Can you do that, for me?"

"Yes, I just-"

"I know. You need to get dressed." Tony pulled Loki down until their lips met. "J, let Flash Gordon in and direct him to the penthouse."

"Yes Sir."

"I don't want to be alone again, please Tony-"

"I won't tell you again to be quiet. You're acting childish, which is really disturbing considering you're sitting on top of me naked with an erection." Tony patted Loki on his thigh. The god bit down on his tongue, silencing himself. "Good, go get dressed. Wait down here until I call for you. I know you're not usually strong and confidant, but that's exactly what I need you to be when blondie sees you. I have a plan. Okay?"

"Okay." Loki took in a long breath before untangling himself from Tony.

"And Loki…" The god turned away from his neatly folded pile of clothes, looking at the engineer questioningly. "Everything is going to be okay."


	8. Chapter 8

Loki worried away at his lower lip as he watched Tony ascend in the elevator. The engineer looked completely at ease and Loki almost believed him when he said everything was going to be okay.

"This isn't going to work- I'm not worth the struggle. It would just be easier to give me up- Once Tony sees that-"

"You doubt his intellect?" Jarvis asked, sounding more authoritative than Loki had ever heard him sound before.

"What? No! I just-"

"Sir is not finished with you. He does not allow his _things_ to be so easily taken from him."

"How…" Loki hesitated. "How do you know he's not finished with me?"

"That question is irrelevant. Either calm down or ruin Sir's plans. It is your decision to make."

Loki paced a few times before sitting down and looking back at the screen right as Tony got out of the elevator.

_"Lion-O! My favorite Aesir. You here to visit your brother?" _Tony asked, immediately heading for the bar.

_"Then you are aware of my brother's presence?" _Thor wrinkled his brow in a way that made Loki think of all the times the older god did not understand the simple plan Loki laid out.

_"Of course! He's been living with me for a while now, completely reformed and helping me with hero business and the like." _Tony looked at the various lined up bottles. _"You want anything to drink?"_ He lifted one of the bottles, showing it to Thor. _"No? Your loss. Anyway, Loki was a big help against Ultron even if he was only behind the scenes. Without him we would have lost more than just…" _Both men fell silent for a long minute.

_"He fought valiantly and is in Valhalla now."_ Loki wanted to know who died, but doubted Tony would ever tell him. The news hadn't said any of the Avengers died, but that really didn't mean anything. Loki knew SHIELD was well versed at hiding its losses. _"My brother has not been causing mischief or destruction?" _Thor sounded uncertain, but hopeful.

_"Just the opposite. We've become friends, ya know once we got pass the whole trying to take over the world thing." _Tony took a sip and made a pleased noise. _"I think the problem you all had with trying to reform Loki is that it relied only on force. Most of you Aesir live in the physical world, solving things with your fists. Folks like Loki and I live mostly in our heads. Locking him up just forced Loki further into his head with only his own thoughts. Now that he's free he gets more input than just his own thoughts. I can speak to him on an intellectual level so that he doesn't think that lashing out is the only way to be heard. You understand what I mean?"_ Thor did not respond immediately.

_"Loki has always acted differently than my shield mates." _Thor looked befuddled. _"Yes, I think I understand."_And Loki could tell that, no Thor did not understand. He was agreeing because Tony was saying all the right words without providing any proof.

_"I knew you'd understand. I mean you've known him so long that of course you know that Loki is a smarty pants. You can't strong arm a brain after all." _Tony laughed freely and Thor seemed to relax slightly. _"Unfortunately Loki is still in a delicate state. All the progress we've made could easily be undone."_ Tony took a sip and Loki figured it was to build up drama. _"I'm all about second chances, but I don't think the Aesir are. If he goes crazy again I think they'll kill your little brother." _

Thor looked grim, his wide shoulders falling slightly.

_"Mayhaps. At his trail many were trying to have him executed. Their calls for his death would only be louder now that they know he can escape Asgard's dungeons."_ Loki let out a sigh of relief when he saw Thor's conflicted look ebb towards a resigned hope. _"Is he truly better?"_

_"Not completely, but he's a lot better than he was previously." _Tony sat on the couch and Loki's thoughts briefly flickered to all they times they fucked on it. _"He was just helping me in the lab. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you if you want to talk or whatever."_

_"Yes, I have longed to see him, to see the man who stood by my side so often in battle." _Anger flared inside Loki at Thor's careless statement. They had never truly fought side by side. Thor made sure of that. The blubbering fool never listened. They all regarded Loki's magic as tricks- not gallant- always jealous and-

"Sir has summoned you. I'd advise listening to him." Jarvis said, breaking through Loki's thoughts. "Remember that Sir wants you to be strong and confidant. Being furious will only hinder his plans."

Loki nodded biting on his lower lip.

Inside the elevator he stared at his distorted image. He was glad he wore some of his finer clothing today, a fine green tunic and the tight fitting black jeans Tony usually liked him in. He slicked back his hair and used a weak glamour to mask the pink rimming his eyes.

"Strong and confidant." Loki chanted to himself. "I have to be the prince I was raised to be." His posture changed to one of regality. He tried to imagine the man he was before the fall- before the rage, the loss, the torture, and self-hatred. It was like looking at a distorted version of himself, one made of glass, just seconds away from shattering. Delicate in its disingenuous nature. He had tried to be a prince, to be a king, but such positions of responsibility ran counter to his nature.

By the time the elevator doors opened to the penthouse floor he wore the façade of the brother Thor always hoped he'd be.

"Thor, I hope you're here on peaceful terms. I'd rather we not disturb Tony with our bickering." Loki joked with a sly grin on his face. Thor gaped at him, his hand falling away from Mjolnir's hilt.

"Loki…" Thor's baby blue eyes glistened with fresh tears.

"Oh Norns, if you cry I'm leaving. I shan't be a party to such blubbering." Loki made to head back the way he'd come, but before he could Thor was lifting him up, embracing him in a hug that would have broken the back of a mortal.

"How I've missed you brother! It has been far too long!"

"Far too long indeed." Loki patted Thor on the back, seemingly unaffected by the older god's grip. He held on for an amount of time Tony deemed inordinately long. Even when he set him back down Thor left his hands resting on Loki's shoulders.

"Why did you escape jail? Surely that will make things worse in the long run." The blond pouted, genuinely distressed.

"Of that, I am certain. I was not in my right mind when I escaped. There is much you do not know about what happened. I fell through the Void for a very long time. I was alone for what felt like centuries, surrounded by nothing. Once I landed I was shoved into a dark room. The only time I saw light was when I was to be tortured or interrogated. I have always felt so alone even when we lived happily in Asgard. The Void shattered me, the torture distorted the pieces that were left, and the Asgard dungeons… I was losing what little I had left." Loki let out a shuddered breath and even he was not sure if he was telling the truth or not. "Thor, I can't go back there. I fear I will slip back into being the mad man who tried to take over this realm. If I become him again I may never be able to come back to who I really am."

"Oh, Loki… had we known…" The blond choked on his own words, wiping away at a stray tear. "We would have found you. We all believed you to be dead. All of Asgard mourned."

"I know. None of this is your fault, Thor." The Aesir flinched and Loki grinned internally. He knew that Thor did blame himself. "You cannot always protect me." He twisted the metaphorical knife and Thor flinched as if it was real.

"Please tell me how I may help. I do not wish to see you suffer."

"Suffering is inevitable, brother. At this point it is all about avoiding the worst of it and weathering the rest." Loki said and Thor nodded glumly.

"Just tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to stay, but you can't. Heimdall watches you too closely. You must go and pretend you had not seen me and go about as if you had not sensed my presence."

"But-"

"There is no other way! Do you think I have not wanted to see you? I have thought of this moment often and this is the only way!" Loki felt his eyes water with false tears. "I can't go back there, Thor! Even if they don't sentence me to death my mind will break! I have tried to find a different way, but there is none. We must part once more."

"How is it with you I never win?" Loki was surprised that Thor chose not to put up a fight. He was expecting at least something from the thunderer.

"You've grown." That realization hit Loki hard. Thor chuckled sadly.

"Yes, without you by my side I have learned many a hard lessons." Thor said and Loki's expression grew dark.

"I'm happy to see that my loss has been a gain for you." Loki's tone was clipped.

"Loki-"

"No, I'm sorry." Loki sighed, glancing at the engineer. "I'm still a bit bitter and unstable. I'm trying though and Tony is helping me. You need to leave, Thor, before Heimdall realizes he can't see you clearly. Now go." Thor clasped Loki's shoulder once more.

"Until we meet again, brother."

"Till then."

Thor gave one last wayward glance to Loki before heading out onto the balcony, taking off immediately.

"Next time- on The Young and The Restless: will Thor ever find out the truth? Where is Loki's good twin? Will Stacy ever find out who the father of her child is? And will Mark finally come out of his coma?" Tony said and Loki cocked his head to the side, not understanding the reference. "Don't worry about it." Tony chuckled into his drink. "Come here, Reindeer Games."Loki quickly moved to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Tony, their knees just barely touching. "I'm surprised by how well you did. I didn't think you had it in you." Tony leaned forward and opened Loki's legs up. "I'm proud of you. You should be rewarded. Tonight I'll let you decide how and where I fuck you."

Loki gasped.

"Anywhere?"

"Well, anywhere in the penthouse or lab. Don't want us getting interrupted after all." Loki bounced up and grabbed Tony's hand. "Someone's excited." Loki practically dragged Tony to the engineer's room. He pulled Tony onto the oversized bed with him.

"May I…" Loki weighed his words. "May I touch you?"

"Hmm," Tony paused in thought, "I suppose, just this once." Loki pushed Tony down so that he was on his back.

Loki had wanted this a long time. To finally be in Tony's room, in Tony's _bed_.

The god tugged at Tony's shirt, pulling it off hastily. Loki couldn't pull his eyes away from him. He touched every inch he never had access to, biting, licking, just taking him all in. Feeling the slight hum of the arc reactor as he traced the edges. Finding what spots made Tony moan.

"Fuck!" Tony shouted at Loki dragged his tongue across his oversensitive nipple. He was enamored with how he, Loki, could cause Tony to make noises like these without being filled by him. Tony suddenly grabbed Loki by his shoulder and the god thought that maybe he'd overstepped. "Lube. Now. I'm already bored of your pathetic attempts at foreplay." Loki held back his frown and rummaged through his pocket for the elusive bottle, still touching as much of Tony's body he could reach. Loki's jeans were tight and he had to pull away from Tony in order to reach the bottom in his pocket. When he finally found it Tony quickly took it away. "Clothes off."

Loki was disappointed when he had to roll off the engineer so he could pull off his too tight pants. He kept his head tilted to the side, watching as Tony slicked up his dick and fingers before tossing the bottle aside. The moment Loki was completely nude Tony rolled so that he was hovering over Loki, trapping him against the bed. Two deft fingers prodded Loki open, making him whimper. Tony was grinning devilishly as he quickly pushed inside all the way, sweeping the pads of his fingers over Loki's prostate.

"You're getting loose, Rudolf. You're such a little slut." Tony pushed roughly against the sensitive spot inside of Loki. The god grabbed onto his own long hair to keep himself from touching Tony, briefly forgetting he was allowed to now. "You have no idea how messed up your own mind is, how lucky you are that I tolerate you." Tony scissored his fingers, making Loki cling to him desperately. He pulled his fingers out of the god and pried Loki's clasped hands from him.

"Please-" Loki pleaded, craving any contact he could get. Tony looped his arm around Loki's middle and began turning him onto his stomach. "No!" Loki shouted and Tony paused, raising a single incredulous eyebrow.

"No?" He repeated, tightening his hold on Loki's waist, but otherwise remaining motionless.

"My reward…" Loki hesitated, wetting his lips. "I want to watch your expression as you fuck me." Tony grabbed Loki's face with both his hands, pushing against his cheeks with his thumbs, forcing Loki's mouth open. He quickly invaded Loki's mouth with his tongue, taking in every detail, pulling away before Loki could properly react.

"Fine, you uppity pest. I always keep my word, even to someone like you." Tony moved back from him briefly, pulling a condom from the nightstand. "I don't want your disgusting come on me though." He tossed the square and it hit Loki right between his eyes. The god quickly opened it, thrilled that his request was going to be granted. "Lucky for you, you're flexible." He slung Loki's knee over his shoulder, pushing into him.

Loki groaned as he was filled. His leg was stretched almost perfectly straight, his thigh pressed to his chest and his toes hitting the headboard. He was just on the edge of being overextending, an ache that was amplified every time Tony thrust into him.

He looked up at Tony, wanting to see his building pleasure- but much to his dismay Tony was looking away from him. He had a determined expression on his face as he stared at the pillow to the left of Loki's head.

"Tony…" Loki said, trying to draw his attention to him. The engineer remained focused on the pillow as he continued thrusting into him. He tried to call to him again, but the air was forced from his lungs by Tony leaning his weight on him. "To-ny!" He could barely speak. The engineer was moving quicker than usually, yet still hitting the area that sent a bolt of energy and built up the pressure in his lower abdomen. "Please-" Tears were starting to form in his eyes, but he blinked them away, clearing his vision. "Look at-" Tony slammed into him rougher than ever before. The engineer's eyes didn't falter from the pillow, his expression turning into a scowl. "Tony, please-" He reached up with a shaking hand to Tony's face, but it was quickly caught and pinned down.

"Shut up." Tony said through gritted teeth, sending a stab of pain through the god's heart.

Loki just wanted their eyes to meet, just for a second so he could just see what those eyes held. He just wanted to know if he'd ever have a chance at being more than just a _distraction_. He wanted to know if he could just be _more_.

But Tony was pounding into him so fast and Loki's mind was starting to white out. He couldn't concentrate on anything except for the building pressure.

"Tony." The god whimpered his name as he felt the engineer tense coming inside of him. Loki clenched down on him, hoping to pull out of him as much pleasure as possible. Tony groaned, giving a few more shallow thrusts. He pulled out of Loki and the god's hole quivered, the muscles trying to go back to their proper place.

He thought Tony was just going to leave Loki to finish himself off, two fingers invaded him again and massaged Loki's prostate to completion. The god sucked in air when Tony rolled off of him. His leg fell to the bed with a heavy thud. Loki watched as Tony draped an arm over his own eyes, regaining the air he'd lost during their fucking.

Loki wanted to say something, _anything_, but knew it would just make things worse. Loki had crossed a line, and whether it was by being in Tony's room, being allowed to touch him, or staring at him as they fucked, he didn't know.

All he knew was that once again he'd done something wrong.

Tony abruptly sat up, tapping his reactor in thought. He walked to the restroom, but paused in the doorway.

"I want you out of my bed by the time I finish showering." Tony said without even looking back. "Also, wash the sheets. I won't be able to sleep with your stench surrounding me." Before Loki could even consider responding the door was slammed shut and there was the noise of running water.

Loki rolled onto his side, curling up like he did almost every time after they fucked. He had a good fifteen minutes before the engineer would be done getting cleaned up. That gave Loki fifteen minutes to… bask.

He was surrounded by Tony's scent, his warmth and sweat still lingering on the sheets. He was in Tony's _bed_- a place he'd been dreaming of being since they met in the Helicarrier.

Loki nuzzled one of the pillows before remembering that it was the one Tony had been staring at so intently. He grabbed the pillow and looked at it, trying to figure out why it was more important than him, more _interesting_ to look at.

He felt an unwarranted hatred for the thing and would have tossed it if not for the knowledge that Jarvis would alert Tony about his outburst. The hatred passed quickly and instead Loki felt envious and disheartened.

Loki wiped away his drying tears and let go of the pillow. He couldn't decide if that was the best or worst sex they'd ever had. It had just been _different_. No one could make him come as hard as Tony did. No one had ever bothered to give Loki any pleasure once they had taken their own from his body- but Tony did, but that was a matter of pride. Tony had said as much on that first night.

Yet, this time it almost felt like Tony's hatred wasn't directed at Loki like it usually was-

"Loki, I advice you make haste. Sir is already conditioning." Jarvis said, cutting through Loki's musings. The god got out of bed and immediately fell to the ground. He'd pulled a muscle in his thigh while fucking and his hips were already sore. He wouldn't be walking anytime soon.

He gave a fleeting glance towards the restroom door before casting a spell that sent the bedding to the washing machine and replaced it with fresh ones. He then teleported himself to his own restroom to take a bath.


	9. Chapter 9

Tony was avoiding him. Loki was certain of that. It was the beginning of the end, his inevitable downfall was coming, and Loki could feel every second slip away.

So he did everything he could to make things better. He made the engineer's favorite meals. He had a glass of scotch in hand when he knew Tony was about to get back. He made sure Ms. Potts never had to see him. He kept his hair and clothes immaculate.

It wasn't enough though. Tony avoided the penthouse floor and always denied Loki access to the lab when he was there.

After a month of being denied all physical contact and acknowledgment he finally broke and turned towards the only hope he had left.

"Please, please Jarvis! Tell me what to do!" Loki pleaded from beneath his blanket, curled up in his bed.

"Tell you what to do about what specifically?" The AI asked, his voice disinterested.

"About Tony! What can I do to make him look at me again? What did I do wrong this time?" He pushed himself further into his bed, wanting to just wake up and for things to be how they were two months ago.

"Even I am not privy to all of Sir's inner most workings and thoughts." Jarvis' response made Loki cry harder, pulling his pillow to his chest and hugging it for dear life.

"You must have some idea! You always know more with what's going on than I do!" He knew his voice was starting to become garbled, but couldn't help it.

"I do have an idea, but that does not mean I plan on sharing them with the likes of you." His words stung, it always hurt when even the fake personality knew Loki wasn't good enough.

"Please…" Loki said a few minutes later after he'd regained some of his control. "I don't want to lose him." His words came out as a whisper, but he knew the AI could hear him clearly.

When Jarvis didn't respond Loki eventually cast a sleeping spell on himself, falling into a deep, yet trouble rest.

* * *

A sharp pain on his wrist made Loki gasp as he woke up.

"Man, you sleep like a rock." Tony said, holding Loki's wrist. There was a pink crescent shape from where Tony had bit him.

Loki blinked a few times, his mind not understanding what he was seeing. Tony was in his room. Tony was in _his_ room. He never went to Loki's room. If he ever wanted Loki he'd just tell Jarvis to get him, not actually come and get him himself.

"Get up, loser. We're going shopping." Tony hopped off the bed, his strides confident and careless. "Same body, different face." He called over his shoulder, shutting the door behind him.

Loki paused for a minute before bolting into action.

Tony was paying attention to him. Tony wanted to take him outside. Tony wanted him for more than just his body and magic.

A thrilled giggle escaped him as he quickly got cleaned up. He changed his features so that they were still fine, yet dissimilar to his own, his hair now blond and eyes hazel.

Tony was sitting in the living room, facing the bright sun, drink in hand and sunglasses in place. It made Loki smile to see him so relaxed.

Tony eyed him, examining the sharp outfit he'd chosen that contrasted with Tony's jeans and t-shirt. "Passable." He gave a thumbs up. "J, surprise daddy with which car we take."

"Yes, Sir. I shall have it properly cooled upon arrival." They walked onto the elevator and Loki had to restrain himself. Loki smoothed down his slacks and button up to keep his hands busy.

"Keep it cool, keep it classy." Tony said, pulling out another pair of sunglasses, handing them to Loki. The god put them on, despite the dim light of the garage.

A cherry red convertible revved its engine when they approached, both doors opening. Music started blaring as they pulled out of the garage and onto the busy streets.

Loki felt antsy in the on and off again traffic. Tony was just rocking out to the blaring music, waving at the other people in cars when they noticed him. More than one person shouted that they loved Iron Man. Loki was reminded that this was what real adulation was like, the kind that was gained through charisma rather than force.

Tony could have made a great king, calming his dukes and generals with light hearted jokes that hid poignant observation. He could have them all dancing to his tune.

With Pepper as his queen, of course, because Loki knew that Tony loved no one as much as he loved Pepper. Where he was charm and wit, she was graceful efficiency and measured words. She could balance his reign easily, making their kingdom prosper.

Subconsciously Loki glanced in the direction of Stark Tower. He easily spotted it between the other skyscrapers, somehow always being higher and brighter than all the rest.

A king, perfect in his rule, adored by all, especially by Loki.

Loki the former prince. Loki the fallen. Loki the peasant. Loki the house whore. Loki the distraction. Loki the _nothing._

He cringed at his own thoughts.

He was something. Loki was certain of that, but he was also certain that that something wasn't a good thing.

Tony easily parallel parked the convertible in front of a high end store.

The inside of the store was filled with suits, ties, and belts. There was a wall dedicated to lapel pins, cufflinks, wallets, and watches.

"Mr. Stark, how may we help you today?" An elderly man asked, approaching the two of them.

"Seven suits for my friend. He needs his measurements taken." Stark said while taking a seat on a leather chair.

"Of course, Mr. Stark. Can we get you any refreshment? Coffee perhaps?" The elderly man asked while gesturing to one of the store clerks.

"Coffee would be fantastic, Peter. None for him though." Tony gestured towards Loki. The store clerk went over to a small espresso machine tucked away in the corner. Peter guided Loki to a raised platform, untying a measuring tape from around his neck.

Loki kept his eyes on Tony as he watched his coffee being made. Loki narrowed his eyes, no he wasn't watching the coffee. Tony was watching the woman making the coffee.

A spell was on the tip of Loki's tongue. A simple trick, just to send her tumbling down, to show Tony she was nothing. But he knew he shouldn't, that he couldn't. Tony would know. Tony would see it in Loki's eyes, the mischief, the depravity.

"Lift your arms please." Peter requested, taking Loki's measurements.

"Here you go, Mr. Stark." The store clerk said while handing Tony the coffee. He smiled at her.

"Thank you. You're far too pretty to be related to Peter over there." Tony said with a charming smile. The woman blushed. "What's your name?"

"Amelia." She whispered and Tony took a sip of his coffee.

"Mm, you make wonderful coffee, Amelia. I'm thoroughly impressed. May I see your hands?" Tony held his hand palm up for her. "Don't worry. I just want to see them. I'm not going to hurt you." Hesitantly the woman placed her hands in Tony's. "Very lovely. I think you want to give me a foot message. Am I right?" Loki frowned at Tony's question. Amelia glanced at her boss. He was concentrating on taking Loki's measurements. "Peter won't mind. We're old friends. Just do what feels natural to you."

Amelia bit her lip and looked at the store keeper again.

"Are you sure it's alright? Aren't you in a relationship with the CEO of your company?" She asked while glancing at his shoes.

"Pep won't mind. I can call her up if you want to be certain." Tony fished out his cell phone from his pocket. He waved the small device at her in offering, but she shook her head.

"I believe you." She let out a little breath before dropping to her knees in front of him. Amelia began unlacing his shoes, the blush on her cheeks darkening. With slow deliberate movements she pulled his feet free, her breath getting quicker.

"Take your time, Amelia." Tony coaxed in a calming voice. She looked up at him with wide doe eyes and nodded.

Loki wanted to hiss at her, to shove her away from _his_ Tony, _his_ mortal, _his _keeper, the only one who accepted him. _She _had no right to touch him. _She_ was just some tawdry peasant- not worthy of-

But Loki wasn't worthy of touching Tony either.

Loki had to calm down. He had to remind himself that Tony was a giver. He was generous and allowed people to touch him. Amelia meant nothing to Tony. All he cared about was what he could give her. And right now he could give her access to his feet, which the woman was clearly enjoying.

She was just using him to fulfill some disgusting foot fetish. Tony allowed it because he liked to give.

Even so when Tony let out a groan of pleasure Loki almost pushed aside the old man and attacked Amelia. Somehow Tony sensed his growing fury.

"Lokes, remember: keep it cool, keep it classy." A warning then, like the subtly of a glint from a hidden knife. Loki made himself relax and tried not to focus on how the woman rubbed her thighs together as she massaged Tony's feet.

"I have your measurements." Peter said to Loki with a kind smile. "You're very lean for your height so your suits will have to be custom made." He looked over at Tony.

"That's fine, Peter. Can you bring out some different swatches of fabric? I think my friend would look especially good in charcoal grey."

"Of course, Mr. Stark." He nodded and walked past him and his kneeling employee, seemingly not caring about her not doing her job.

"Lokes, come sit by me." The god slowly made his way over, pointedly not looking at the kneeling woman still kneading away at Tony's feet. The engineer leans forward and brushes his hand down Amelia's cheek and rests it on her neck, cupping it softly. "Thank you for the massage, Amelia. You should go to the restroom and give yourself a reward, okay?"

"Do you want me to…" Her eyes lingered on Tony's lap and Loki realized that the engineer was hard. Hard from a _foot rub_.

"No, I'm quite alright, so long as you take care of yourself." He winked at her and her blush somehow grew darker as she quickly walked to the back of the store.

"I could have done that for you." Loki mumbled while kneeling in the spot she vacated. "I could still do that for you, anything for you."

"You just don't understand. You probably never will." Tony rolled his head back, resting it on the back of the seat. Loki picked at the laces of Tony's shoes, not knowing what to say.

"I want to understand." Loki pleaded, frustrated and desperate all at once.

"You can't understand. You're too selfish to understand." It was like a slap to his face. He always fell short of being enough. Loki was well aware that he was selfish by nature. It was part of the reason so much of his life had turned sour despite his best efforts. It was part of the reason he'd never get over Tony.

Tony let out a long sigh before leaning forward and taking his shoe from Loki, putting them back on his own feet after pulling on his socks. Loki wrung his hands together, feeling useless. Tony sighed and grabbed Loki by his elbow, pulling him up and into the chair beside Tony's.

Peter came back out with several swatches of fabric draped over his arm. He went straight to the engineer, passing by Loki without a thought. Typical, very typical. Why would anyone care that it was him here to get suits? Especially when Tony Stark was there too. It only made sense

The engineer discussed the merits of the different fabrics, occasionally pulling them closer to Loki so he could examine the god's coloration in comparison.

"What name should I put the measurements under?" Peter asked after he and Tony had decided on seven different fabrics.

"Just put it as a sub category of my own like you did with Bruce's." Tony smiled at the elderly man, standing up to shake his hand.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Stark? We have some golden cufflinks with inlaid rubies that may interest you." The store clerk gestured towards the glass counter just as Amelia walked from the back, looking sated and flushed. Loki tried not to scowl at her.

"Another day. I still have to deal with this one." Tony pointed his thumb at Loki and the god sat up straighter in recognition. "Peter, you have my card on file." He waved at the older man. "Lokes, let's go." Tony gestured with his head, not waiting to see if the god followed him he left. The car purred to life.

"Where are we going now?" Loki asked after they were on the road again.

"The bank."

Ah, so business. The bank must be between here and the tower.

Loki would probably be stuck in the car waiting while Tony did whatever billionaires did when they visited the bank.

Surprisingly, when they parked Tony told Loki to follow him. Just like the last place the owner greeted Tony by name.

The bank owner and Tony talked at a quick pace, using all sorts of jargon Loki was not familiar with. Their voices quickly became a dull drone as he took in his surroundings. People were just walking outside of the glass office, some seeing them, yet not knowing who he truly was. They did not know what filth was lingering beneath the surface.

Inside the glass box that constituted an office Loki's thoughts were drawn to a certain glass cage on the Helicarrier. His metaphorical feathers had been all puffed up as he tried to put on a show of strength. Tony had seen through him, took control of the situation, and left Loki speechless. It still gave the god goosebumps. He was so transparent to everyone, yet only Tony knew how to handle him.

"Pay attention." Tony pulled on Loki's arm and led him back out. Once in the car he pulled his sunglasses down so that he could look Loki directly in his eyes. "You can't be spacing out like that in the real world, Bambi. Things are different out here. I can't just put you in your place when we're in public. I have an appearance to maintain as figurehead of Stark Industries and as Iron Man. You're depraved and you acting as such just complicates things. That's alright at my home, but you need to at least pretend to be normal. Am I understood?"

"I understand." Loki said while nodding. Tony paused, looking at Loki critically.

"Good." Tony put the car in gear and the drive back to the tower was silent. Loki watched the engineer closely. His posture was rigid and the angle of his jaw was almost stubborn. It made Loki nervous.

Once in the penthouse Tony poured himself a large glass of scotch. Loki lingered at the edge of Tony's peripheral view, shifting to his usual form. He wanted to go to him, now that he wasn't avoiding him, but Loki didn't want to push his luck and run the risk of not seeing Tony for another month.

"You're fidgeting." Tony said, not looking away from his drink. "Come here." Tony dropped a pillow on the ground and Loki automatically kneeled on it. Tony laced his fingers through Loki's hair and gently guided his head until it was resting against Tony's thigh. The god sighed contentedly as Tony started working out the stray knots in his long black hair. "It's going to be difficult." Tony murmured.

"Hmm?" It was always hard to concentrate with such a soft touch lulling him. Tony didn't respond at first, twisting a lock of Loki's hair around his finger.

"It will be difficult," Tony paused again, but never stopped his caress, "letting you go."


	10. Chapter 10

Loki froze, his fingernails dug into his palms. Tony hadn't let up on his gentle touch, yet Loki couldn't feel it. His chest felt like it was being crushed. He couldn't breathe and his vision was narrowing.

"Shh, Reindeer Games. Come here." Loki was pulled into Tony's lap. The god buried his face against Tony's neck.

He couldn't form words. All he could think was that the time had finally come. He was useless, not even worth being a distraction anymore. He was being cast out.

Alone, all alone. Lost in the darkness, hiding from Thor and the Chitauri. Strangers' glares and constant insecurity- silence only interrupted by hissed words of hatred, both from inside of him and from others. No one would ever touch him again other than to hurt him. And what if Tony told SHEILD he was on Midgard? It would just be another group seeking him for their revenge.

But he could feel strong arms around him, a chest rising and falling against him. Tony.

"I'm sorry." Loki finally choked out after what felt like ages. Tony chuckled and Loki was certain he was about to be pushed out of Tony's lap. Instead he was held tighter and Tony ran his hand through Loki's hair.

"You'll never understand, will you?" Tony said, his voice right in Loki's ear.

"Of course I don't understand. I never understand you." Loki breathed in Tony's scent, committing it to memory. Today had been too enjoyable. It only made sense that it would end in tragedy.

"That's because I don't want you to understand me. That wouldn't serve my purpose." Loki nodded, automatically accepting Tony's words. What good would it serve him for Loki to understand him? Loki was a killer after all. He'd attacked his home and planet.

"What purpose do I have to you? What purpose do I give you?" He prayed to the Norns that he still had a purpose, that he could make Tony remember why he first allowed Loki to stay.

"Don't pretend to be coy. You've always known what your purpose has been here." Tony trailed his hand down Loki's back before firmly grasping his backside. Loki grinded against Tony in response, but his advances were immediately rebuked. The god frowned, but hid his face against Tony's shoulder.

"I'm purposeless without you." Loki admitted, though it was no real confession since he was sure Tony was already aware of it.

"We're in agreement on that one, sweet cheeks." Tony rubbed Loki's back for a brief moment and the god practically purred. "That's sort of the reason we had our shopping trip today." Loki sniffled.

"I don't want a new purpose, if that's what you're getting at."

"I don't care what you want." Tony's voice was clipped, making Loki flinch. He'd overstepped his boundaries again, and at such a delicate moment too. The engineer sighed and pushed Loki backwards so he could view his face which was surely blotchy due to crying. Analytical eyes took in every detail, making Loki feel self conscious. "Damn you and your beautiful face for being so distracting." Tony swept his thumb over Loki's cheek, brushing away a drying tear. "I swear sometimes you cry just to distract me."

"No, I promise I don't." He was being honesty, yet was confused.

"You being the God of Lies makes it a bit difficult for me to believe you, not that this idle truth really matters." It was a criticism Loki had received many times before and found that it affected him more when it came from Tony. The engineer shook his head, dispelling a thought. "Alright, get off of me. Your proximity is distracting." Loki wiggled in Tony's lap with a sly grin as he moved to his side.

"Are you sure you don't want to be distracted?" Loki fiddled with the button to his pants, a clear invitation. Tony's hand shot out quickly, grabbing Loki by his neck and slamming him down into the couch.

"Do not try and manipulate me." The fury in Tony's voice was restrained, yet clear to Loki.

"I'm- sorry-" Loki's words were choked off. Tony loosened his grip before letting go and grabbing his glass of scotch. He took a sip and his anger subsided.

"Distractions, distractions." Tony mumbled casting his eyes to the side, looking at Loki who was still laid out awkwardly on the couch, gasping for air. "Fuck! I'm no moral pillar of society." That being said, Tony twisted around until he was hovering over the god. He tugged at Loki's fancy clothes, pushing his shirt up, revealing taut muscles and ivory skin. Loki hid his grin of triumph as Tony's tongue flicked out, tasting Loki's skin. Tony bit roughly on Loki's hip, making him buck upwards. For a brief moment Loki forgot the rules and ran his fingers through short brown hair. Tony grabbed his wrist. "No touching. Hold onto the armrest if you've really lost so much discipline since I last fucked you." Tony glared at him a moment longer before biting his hip again. Loki grabbed the armrest desperately. "Now be good while you serve your purpose."

"Tony," the god whispered, determined to prove to the engineer that he was still useful.

"I'm going to mark every inch of you. Bruise and use you. Flawless skin dotted with crescents, showing just a bit of the deprivation you hide so well." He brushed his thumb over Loki's nipple, a spot he hadn't known was erogenous until Tony had dedicated a session to playing with them. "You resilient bastard. I don't even have to hold back my strength. No matter how hard I sink my teeth in they never break the skin." He bit down hard on Loki's waist, growling as he did so. With the hand that wasn't holding Loki down Tony ripped open Loki's button up shirt. "You poor touch starved creature." Each word was accompanied with a rough nip, scattered across Loki's chest and abs. "A slow torture tonight, since you insist on distracting me."

Loki loved the painful stinging each time Tony marked him, the way he'd never salve his tongue over the fresh mark. He loved that when he started begging Tony grabbed him by his throat and made him shut up. His ribs, inner elbows, his palms- and then when Tony latched on to one of Loki's nipples the god let out a smothered shout.

"Music to my ears." Tony whispered, his breath fanning against Loki's raised skin. He moved up to the crook of Loki's neck, moving his hand to the side to bite him, then to his jaw and earlobe. He pulled away to look at the panting god.

"Tony," Loki begged, urging him on. In a quick move that made Loki flinch the engineer lightly nipped the tip of his nose before grinning darkly.

"Every inch of your mind and body is mine." Tony grabbed Loki's belt, unbuckling it quickly. "You really do look too tempting in that suit." He quickly stripped Loki down. "Much better. Less distracting like this. I've seen you naked way too many times. Only seen you in a suit a handful of times." Tony seemed to muse to himself before turning his attention back to the god. "You're much less impressive without the pretense of clothing." Tony moved backwards, settling himself between Loki's legs. "Every inch is mine." He lifted Loki's leg then bit his calf. "Seriously? Not fair. You laze around way too much to have such defined muscles." Loki smiled at the complement and Tony gave him a sharp glance before biting Loki's ankle. The god cringed, not having known how tender his Achilles tendon was until teeth were clamping down on it.

Loki hadn't even known he had a biting kink until Tony decided to create a tract of crescent marks up Loki's leg months ago. Actually, Loki figured, that anything could become a kink, so long as Tony was the one doing it to him.

He held tightly to the armrest as Tony continued his oral exploration. The engineer's mouth kept getting closer and closer to the place Loki wanted it most. Tony would never do that though, suck him off. That would be a gift to someone as low as Loki. Even if Tony was a giver Loki doubted he'd give that much.

That thought was proved correct when Tony flipped him over, peppering fresh bite marks across the span of back. Loki was left to grind against the cushions, just trying to get a bit more friction. He was surprised that Tony didn't make him stop, only making him pause when Tony decided to bite a parallel pattern on each of Loki's cheeks. The god let out a keening noise, his breath coming in pathetic little gasps as he had to remain still. Each bite pushed him against the cushions, urging him to seek relief. He knew that if he moved he'd probably get a swatting on his ass and bring Tony back to the subject that he'd been broaching before Loki distracted him with his body.

Thankfully Tony moved up to Loki's neck, allowing the god to rut against the couch. He knew he shouldn't bring himself to completion though. It would only serve to give Loki a quick release and annoy Tony. So Loki kept building himself up, reveling in the stinging bites, but never pushed himself over the edge, not even when Tony pulled on his hair and bit viciously into Loki's neck.

"A work of art. Jarvis, where's my cell phone? I want proper documentation." Tony said while getting off the couch, staring at Loki's prone form.

"It's on the bar, Sir." Jarvis informed him in a dull tone.

"You're a life saver, J." The AI didn't respond as Tony strolled over to his large collection of alcohol. His cell phone was carelessly lying on the bar from when Tony had grabbed a glass of scotch. He swiped it up before quickly accessing the camera.

Loki tried not to move as heard the clicking noise of the camera snapping pictures. He loved that Tony enjoyed his body so much, even when they weren't fucking.

Tony tilted Loki's chin up so that he was peaking over his sprawled out arms before taking another picture.

"Hmm, the older marks are already fading. How disappointing. On your back then." Rolled onto his back and Tony brushed a few strands of Loki's hair away from his face. It was a soft touch, much kinder than anything Loki was used to. "What are you embarrassed? Don't avert your gaze. How are people going to know it's you in the photo if they can't see your face?" Loki glared at the camera. "Kitty's got claws."

"Only you would find me desirable as such. What would be the point of sharing?" He tried to sound confident as he spoke, but the amused look Tony was giving him made it clear it wasn't working.

"Oh Bambi. So naïve. When they see the photo they'll all laugh which will turn you on more than ever before, which will turn me on. It will be a great fuck. You'll see." Tony snapped another photo as he spoke, nonchalant as can be. "You know I'm right."

Loki bit his own lip, because yes, he knew Tony was right, yet he still did not want everyone to see him so vulnerable. Besides that, it would draw attention to the fact that he was free which would mean countless would join in on hunting him down.

Anything he said against Tony's plan would only encourage him though. Instead he just shifted his hips purposefully, drawing the engineer's attention to them.

"Distractions, distractions." Tony mumbled while taking another picture. He tossed his phone onto one of the recliners. "You've been rather talkative today. Let's put that mouth to better use."

"Anything you want." Loki said while sitting himself up. He moistened his lips and enjoyed the flash of lust in Tony's eyes.

"You have to stop saying that to me. One of these days I'm going to tell you to do something and you're not going to like it. You'll hesitate and that will only serve to piss me off." Tony brushed aside Loki's long legs, sitting in the freshly vacated spot. Loki read the engineer's posture and moved so that he was kneeling in front of him.

It was one of Loki's biggest fears, Tony telling him to leave, but to offer him less than anything and everything sounded ungrateful in his own ears. Loki would keep saying it even if he didn't want to accept the possibility that he was putting himself in a corner.

He brushed those thought aside and wordlessly began undoing Tony's jeans. The engineer hummed in approval and leaned back his head on the couch. Loki took a brief moment to admire him. So relaxed despite being in the hands of a madman.

Loki gave Tony a few tentative strokes, dragging this out a bit before dipping his head down. Tony liked it when Loki was messy, ineloquent, taking as much of him in at once. Burying his nose in messy curls as he swallowed and gulped salaciously. Strong fingers fisted in Loki's hair, both hands taking control, driving him deeper and faster. He pretended to choke, causing his throat to flutter. Tony pinched Loki's nose and the god had to gasp for air around the engorged cock. His throat was beginning to burn and his eyes water, but he didn't stop his bobbing.

Tony moaned loudly. He was lasting much longer than usual. Through watery eyes Loki glanced up and realized why. He was so startled that he actually did choke, trying to pull away only to be driven back down again. Loki quickly got control of himself just before Tony came. He gulped down, while glaring at Ms. Potts as she kissed Tony deeply, her hand down his shirt, fingers tracing the rim of the arc reactor.

"Pepper," Tony moaned while pushing away Loki. "Welcome home." He pulled Pepper over the back of the couch and into his arms.

"Looks like I missed all the fun." Pepper said while pulling up his shirt.

"Hardly. You know my tongue is good for more than just talking." Tony pushed aside Loki with his foot.

"Bedroom?" She asked while Loki moved silently backwards.

"A wonderful idea." Tony pulled on his jeans before standing, his hand in Pepper's. Loki watched as they disappeared around the corner before gathering up his clothing. He wasn't certain if he was relieved or not. Now Tony would be thoroughly distracted from the idea of letting him go, but it also left Loki alone, naked, and scared of what was to come.

He was also pissed off with himself. Of course Tony didn't buy him all those suits just because he liked to see Loki in them. The engineer had to have another reason, a reason that had to do with getting rid of Loki.

Ms. Potts high pitched moans reached Loki's ears, breaking him out of his own thoughts. He put his clothes back on, performing a quick spell to replace the buttons Tony had broken on his shirt before he headed to the kitchen.

A post –coitus dinner for them then. Perhaps that would buy Loki a bit more time at Tony's side.


	11. Chapter 11

Pepper and Tony didn't leave their bedroom that night so Loki ended up having to pack up the finely cooked meal he'd made for them.

The silence began suffocating Loki, so much like the silence Tony had left him in for over a month. He cast a sleeping spell on himself feeling too distraught to fall asleep naturally.

Once again he was awoken rudely, but this time it was by Jarvis. The AI was blasting the air conditioning and music he didn't recognize was being screamed out of hidden speakers.

Loki lurched up gripping his heart.

"Get cleaned up and head to the lab." Jarvis ordered, easing the AC and music off. Loki nodded mutely, getting out of the bed. He stripped down in front of the mirror, all of the marks from last evening had faded, much to his chagrin. He wanted Tony to have a reminder of just how useful he could be.

After showering quickly and slicking his hair back Loki pulled on jeans that were too tight and a green sweater. He made sure that as always he had a small bottle of lube with him. He checked his teeth and made sure his eyes were bright. He fixed two cups of coffee. One completely black for Tony and the other drowned in cream and sugar for himself.

Jarvis put the elevator on direct protocol when Loki boarded it, taking him to the lab quickly. The security door opened automatically for him, which meant Tony was waiting for him. Loki felt a bit nervous, but was used to putting on a show.

The lab was quieter than usual and Loki didn't immediately see Tony behind one of the larger screens that came right out of the floor.

"Bambi, you took your sweet time." Tony said while beckoning him over. Loki handed him his cup of coffee. The engineer took a quick sip. "Come here. Give me a backrub. I'm getting old and Pepper isn't." Loki set aside his cup, rubbed his hands together a few times to give them a bit of warmth before messaging Tony's shoulders. He could feel every knot, every bunched muscle and nerve.

"I have a spell just for this sort of thing." Loki offered.

"Not a chance in hell, Magic Fingers." Tony booted up one of his tablets and his fingers danced across it. Loki's eyes were drawn to the large screen that Tony was interfacing with. "I had Jarvis compile a few videos and photos." An image of Loki spread eagle on the kitchen counter came on screen. Tony swiped his finger across the screen of his tablet and a different image appeared on the larger screen, this one of Loki bent over the couch, tied up and on display. "Look at you being so needy- ah, a little lower Reindeer Games. Yup, that's the spot." Tony groaned, leaning into Loki's touch.

Loki couldn't pull his eyes away from the screen. The image kept changing, but they were essentially all the same. It was either him looking debauched or of him being fucked by Tony.

"Why are you showing me this?" Loki asked after a good five minutes. He was amazed at the sheer amount of photos and videos Tony had of him. They weren't in any specific order, all from different angles, but none of them showed Tony's face or his arc reactor.

"Because you tried to destroy my city. You brainwashed one of my friends, killed another one, and worst of all you tried to be something you're not. You tried to be more than this." The image changed to one from last night, Loki kneeled between Tony's legs. Tony remained silent and they both stared at the image, Loki's hands stopping their massaging. Tony peeled away Loki's hands from his person.

"Tony?" The god called to him, feeling a new coldness grow between them as he stared at his back.

"You're killing my soul, Bambi." Tony said, breaking the silence. "As much as I don't want to be, I'm a hero. Heroes don't keep villains in their house. Heroes don't use people the way I use you." Loki reached out for Tony's shoulder, but hesitated. Eventually he dropped his arm back to his side.

"You are a hero." Loki began, choosing his words carefully. "You're not using me. You're saving me from myself." He tried to explain, but it only elicited a hollow laugh from Tony. In the still image of the screen Loki could see Tony's reflection, his smile as empty as his laugh.

"You're so fucked up, Loki, and you know that. You just don't know that I'm fucked up too." The screen went blank and Tony's expression became clearer to Loki. He was looking into his own eyes, confusion there.

Loki took in a breath of air, surprisingly calm as he walked around to face the engineer. He grabbed a chair and sat directly in front of him.

"Tony, you're my hero." Loki said, looking Tony right in his eyes.

"You can't say that to me. You just fucking can't." Tony turned away from him, tossing aside the tablet, letting it break on the ground. Loki wheeled his chair a little closer to Tony's.

"It's true. You're my hero." Loki touched the armrest of Tony's chair, knowing that he wouldn't appreciate being directly touched right now. "I'd be lost and alone without you, scared and purposeless."

"You'd find your own way. I ground you, help you find your center, but I also restrain you." Tony nodded to himself glumly, not meeting Loki's eyes.

"I've been adrift for most of my life. I searched for meaning and acceptance, but found none until you offered me a place to stay." Loki's eyes started to water as he thought about his situation more. "I've always been so unhappy and stuck in a constant cycle of self-hatred, scheming, and destruction in my own head. When I'm in your home I get to cook and do things for more than just myself. I was never able to make people happy with just my food before. If I wasn't here I'd either be languishing in a cell in Asgard or descending into madness as I wondered the different realms alone."

"Fuck, every time we're together I make you cry. How can you not see how unhealthy that is?"

"Is that why you avoided me a whole month? Did you even consider how much that hurt me, how much that made me cry?" Loki did his best to hold back his tears as if to prove a point.

"That's because I've been manipulating you. You don't _need _me. You just _want_ me." Tony explained, waving his hand dismissively.

"You think I don't know you've been manipulating me? Of course I am aware of that. Manipulation has been a large part of my life since the day Odin took me in. Yours is different though. I know your motives."

"Then you know one of the main reasons I keep you here is so that you don't cause any more destruction."

"You've told me that yourself on more than one occasion." Loki carefully touched Tony's hand, but it was immediately swatted away.

"You don't seem to understand what exactly I've been doing to you. You should want to kill me, not want me to fuck you. I've been chipping away at your self confidence-"

"No you haven't. You've just been showing me how pathetic I am-"

"Loki, you're not pathetic. You're just hurt and you don't know how to ask for help."

"This is me asking for your help. Let me stay with you. I won't bother anyone. I'll never talk to Ms. Potts without her talking to me first. I'll make sure she never has to see me. I'll stay in my room."

"This has nothing to do with Pep. She doesn't care about my sexual deviances and she likes that you keep me fed. It makes her life easier." Tony explained listlessly. Loki sighed in relief. He could argue with Tony, but if Ms. Potts wanted him gone there'd be nothing he could do about it. "This isn't about her though. This is about you and me."

"Perfect. Then please let me stay. When I'm here I don't have to worry about hurting anyone or myself. I'm happy here and I want to make you happy anyway that I can." Loki looked down at his own lap, searching for anything that could convince the engineer to let him stay.

"And if I never want to touch you again or never allow you to touch me again?" Tony asked and Loki's heart dropped.

"Will I be able to still see you?" He asked meekly.

"No more than usual. You can still make me meals if you want. Visit me in the lab when you're not at work."

"Work?"

"Spending your time moping around is not helping your psyche. Going outside will do you some good." Tony relaxed a bit and stood up. "You'll get a job and spend time with other people." The god looked up at him, full of apprehension. Tony reached down and cupped Loki's face. There was a long, frozen pause and an unreadable look in his eyes. "We'll get this all figured out." Tony said softly before dropping his hand back to his side and turning away from him. "Jarvis, help Loki find a job. I'm heading upstairs."


	12. Chapter 12

Loki stayed in the lab listening to Jarvis as the AI read different job descriptions. He was only half listening as he sat curled up, contemplating these most recent turn of events.

He didn't see how putting himself among the humans was going to help anything. He was a danger to them, had killed them before and probably would again without Tony's guidance.

Loki cringed.

It wasn't fair. He just wanted to be held- and fucked, but mostly held, with equal parts fucking.

"Depraved." Loki hissed to himself.

"If you're not paying attention you'll find yourself employed in the lucrative field of waste management."

"I'm listening. Please continue." Even Jarvis somehow knew that Loki was a blemish on the nine realms.

He could be bent over a table right now. He could be gasping for air. He could be quivering all over. If Tony would just-

But no. This was not Tony's fault. This was his own fault. Tony was a hero. It was not the hero's job to jail or rehabilitate the villain. It was their job to capture the villain. Tony had gone above and beyond the call of duty by allowing Loki to live here.

"Do I need to inform Sir that you are being uncooperative?"

"No!" Loki shouted, almost falling out of his seat. "I mean no. That last job sounded interesting."

"You wish to teach children self defense?" Jarvis sounded incredulous.

"Self defense is a cornerstone to any child's curriculum in Asgard. I am more than capable of teaching tikes." Loki quickly responded, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"Of the 3,014 people that died during the invasion of New York 784 of them were 'tikes'."

"I am well aware of my past transgressions. Are you going to help me obtain this job or not?" Loki snapped at Jarvis, before abruptly covering his mouth. The AI did not respond and with each passing moment Loki felt like he'd screwed up even more.

"Unlike some individuals I do not disobey Sir's orders." Jarvis finally said. Loki let out the breath he was holding.

"Thank you, Jarvis." Loki fidgeted in his seat. "Where it Tony?"

"Sir is currently taking the Avengers out for a group lunch." Loki slumped down, disappointed. The lab- actually the whole tower felt hollow without him here. Everything felt wrong when he was gone. "Your presence is no longer necessary in this room. Permission has been revoked now that I have found you an occubalconyn." Loki nodded, silently getting out of his chair and heading to the elevator. He didn't want to be in here anyway without Tony.

Once he was on the penthouse floor again he headed to the kitchen, hoping to ease his nerves with some baking. He opened the fridge and a small grin found its way onto his face as he saw that most of the meal he had made yesterday for Tony and Pepper was eaten.

Loki wasn't completely useless, evidently. He knew that Ms. Potts appreciated that he kept the engineer well fed.

The god pulled out eggs, milk, and butter from the fridge before grabbing the dry ingredients to make cookies. It was a recipe he'd made various times since he began living with Tony. It would serve as a good distraction.

He easily got lost in the motions. Not long after the sweet scent slowly spread around the penthouse.

Loki laid on the couch, cocooning himself in a blanket as he waited for them to finish. He hated the idea that Tony may never touch him again. No one else would ever tolerate him the way Tony does- did. Loki didn't fully understand what he had done wrong, he just knew it was a long time coming.

Tony, by the Norns, Loki loved him so much. He could never tell him though. Loki knew it would only make Tony push him away. Love was not part of their arrangement and Tony had made it clear that he would never love him back. Why should he even care about such a pathetic creature as Loki? But he did. His unwarranted guilt earlier made that clear. It warmed Loki's heart even though it almost got him banished from Tony's life. His chest clenched and tears sprung to his eyes.

"Tony…" Loki whispered, almost prayed. He buried his face in one of the pillows, faintly catching the engineer's scent.

The timer went off, alerting Loki to the cookie's status. He quickly unwrapped himself before going to check on the cookies. They were perfectly golden, but he'd have to wait for them to cool before he knew if the taste was as good as the appearance. It gave Loki a strange sense of pride. His spells had always been considered tricks by the Aesir and his schemes had an unhappy tendency to implode. They were never good enough, but these cookies…

Loki took a bite and moaned.

These cookies were perfect. He'd made something that was perfect for the first time in two thousand and something years. All because he had a stable place to stay and someone who kept him centered.

He was only capable of such a feat because of Tony. How could the engineer not see that, or perhaps he did and was just getting bored of Loki-

Loki the house whore.

Loki the distraction.

Loki the nothing.

"Sir has alerted me to the fact that he is bringing the Avengers up to the penthouse to watch a movie with him. You are to go to your room, lock the door, and remain silent." Jarvis said, interrupting the god's downward spiral.

"How much time do I have?" Loki asked, his pitch an octave higher than usual as he looked at the mess he had created. He should have been cleaning as the cookies were baking, but no instead he was moping on the couch.

"Ten minutes." Jarvis warned and a countdown appeared on all digital surfaces.

Loki let out a sigh of relief. Ten minutes was plenty of time. Loki cast a simple spell that began washing the dishes. He rummaged through the cabinets until he found a glass cake display. He quickly cleaned the counter with a paper towel before setting the display case in the middle of the kitchen island. With practiced hands he arranged the cookies before putting the glass case over it. He pushed the display case slightly to the right before moving it back, absolutely thrilled with how perfect it looked.

It had only taken him eight minutes.

Loki glanced around the kitchen again and everything was in its proper place.

He headed to his room before quickly backtracking to the living room, cleaning up the plethora of blankets he had cocooned himself in earlier.

Loki made it to his room with a minute to spare. He locked it up and pressed his ear to the door, wanting to hear Tony. He could feel his heart rate pick up, knowing that Tony was going to be home soon. Their home… No, it was Ms. Potts' and Tony's home. Loki was just a nuisance of a guest.

From the distance he was at he couldn't hear the elevator door ping, but he could hear the shuffling of multiple people. He couldn't sense Thor's presence. He grinned when he heard Tony debating with Clint on which actor played James Bond best.

"Tony, I thought Pepper flew to Germany this morning…" One of the Avengers said, either Bruce or Steve. Loki hadn't spent enough time with them to know the difference in their voices.

"She did- Oh, cookies." Loki's eyes widened and panic sprung to life in him. How could he be so stupid! Of course they'd know the cookies were freshly baked. "The housekeeper must have made them."

"You have a housekeeper?" There was a tinge of suspicion in Clint's voice.

"Of course. Do you think Pep and I have time for such trivial things as cleaning and cooking? She has a multibillion dollar corporation to run and you all know I can't cook at all. Tasha you remember Nathan. You met him once."

"Yeah I remember him." The assassin said without missing a beat. It gave Loki a brief moment of confusion until he remembered when Natasha had stumbled upon them. Tony had mentioned a child named Nathan and the Black Widow seemed to cave in on herself. Loki figured he was Natasha's son, hidden away from both SHEILD and the rest of the world.

"I won't be able to eat all of these so feel free to take as many as you want." Tony offered and Loki heard the clinking of the glass dome being set aside shortly followed by appreciative moans.

"These are delicious." Clint said, his words garbled by the food in his mouth. "Tasha aren't you going to have some?"

"I'm still full from lunch." She explained and Loki could tell it was a lie, albeit a perfectly delivered one.

"You're loss. More for us."

"Tony, you have to get this recipe for me." A new voice said, male. Either Bruce or Steve.

"I'll see what I can do." There was a pause. "Damn, that is good. Yeah, I'll talk to him next time I see him." There was a pleased sigh and Loki easily recognized it as Tony's. "Come on. We can take it with us to the living room." Their conversation switched back to movie options.

Loki went to his bed. His face was flushed and he felt like breaking into hysterical giggles, but held back. They liked his cookies. _Tony_ liked his cooking. His heart fluttered and he had to cover his mouth with his hands to hold back his bubbling laughter.

He made Tony happy without his magic or his body.

He could make Tony happy.

Loki had worth beyond his magic tricks and fucking.

There was hope.


	13. Chapter 13

Loki knew he was dreaming, but that didn't make it feel any less real.

"Tony," Loki called out happily while running over to him with a plate full of fresh baked cookies. He practically fell onto Tony's lap and the engineer chuckled, setting aside his glass of scotch so it wouldn't spill. "Try these. I made them just for you." Loki blushed brightly. Tony plucked one of the warm chocolate chip cookies off the plate.

"Smells good." Tony paused. "Or that could just be you. You do have a bit of flour," Tony reached up and brushed this thumb over Loki's chin, "right there." Loki beamed and Tony took a bite of the cooking, letting out a very audible moan. "Delicious."

"I'm glad you like it." Loki did his best not to squirm. It felt so great being close to him.

Tony took the plate and set it by his glass of scotch. Loki gave him a curious look before letting out a squeak as he was lifted up. Automatically he wrapped his legs around Tony's waist and clung to him. Tony's hands slid down Loki's back before firmly gripping his ass. Loki grinded against him and when Tony didn't stop him Loki took that as encouragement.

He loved when Tony was like this. When he allowed Loki to touch him as much as he wanted to. When he squeezed him tightly. When he was so close Loki could feel the arc reactor pushed against him.

The god was carried into the kitchen, all the while listening to Tony whisper all sorts of dirty things into his ear.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard, princess, that my cock will get a crown."

Loki was dropped onto the kitchen counter that was still covered in flour.

"Tony," Loki moaned desperately. He was pushed back onto the counter, white puffing up around him.

"Patience, Bambi." Tony unhooked Loki's legs from around his waist and Loki gripped the edge of the counter by his head, trying to control his hectic breathing. "We have so many fun things we can play with." Tony hummed while pulling off the god's jeans. Loki wiggled slightly to speed up the process. "And we definitely don't need these." Tony said while pulling off Loki's boxers. He ripped open Loki's button up shirt. "Perfectly pink." Tony mused while brushing a thumb over one of Loki's nipples.

"More, please." Loki begged, using his legs to pull Tony closer.

"Those who don't wait, won't get any cake." Tony rhymed carelessly. "Well, you're the cake tonight so I guess that doesn't make that much sense." Tony leaned over him, brushing against Loki's very erect cock. The god moaned and rubbed against him wantonly. "Patience." Tony reminded him. Loki groaned, but otherwise stopped moving. When Tony moved backwards he had a bag of chocolate chips in hand. "I never had a sweet tooth before you came along." Tony said while placing chocolate chips on Loki, one balanced on each nipple, another on the hollow of his throat and the last on his navel.

Tony pulled back slightly to admire his work. He glanced around and grabbed a small bottle of olive oil. He coated three of his fingers with the slick substance.

"Please…" Loki begged and the chocolate chip that was on one of his nipples fell to the side.

"Control yourself." Tony's voice was stern, yet there was a playful side to it. Loki bit his lip to keep from moaning and grinning. "You're so beautiful like this, completely laid out for me." Tony slipped his oiled hand between Loki's cheeks. "Don't move. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Loki said breathlessly, loving seeing such a carefree happiness in Tony's eyes.

"Good." A single finger circled Loki's hole, not pushing in, just teasing. He leaned forward, brushing against Loki's cock again. "Delicious." Tony whispered while licking one of Loki's nipples, scooping up the chocolate chip. It took every ounce of Loki's strength not to either buck upwards or push against Tony's fingers. Tony's tongue swirled twice around the oversensitive area before Tony bit down lightly. Loki couldn't hold back his moan or stop himself from pushing down on Tony's fingers. "Absolutely delicious."

Tony's breath fanned across Loki's skin. He traced his tongue upwards and to the hollow of Loki's neck, scooping up the chocolate chip that was there before biting the side of his neck while thrusting two fingers into the god. Loki arched upwards, but a flour coated hand on his hip wouldn't let him thrust like he so desperately wanted to.

"I could spend hours just teasing you like this." Tony whispered, his eyes bright.

Tony curled his fingers slightly, hitting the spot that always sent jolts of pleasure through Loki's whole body. Tony's drew swooping patterns with his tongue as he moved lower. He strayed to the side and bit Loki's hip quickly before returning to his middle. Their eyes met just as Tony scooped the chocolate chip that had been resting on the dip of Loki's navel.

The god made a weak keening noise as Tony added a third finger. The engineer kept moving lower- and Loki nearly came when he gripped his cock and licked from base to head in one slow, delicious movement.

"Please…" Loki begged, his fingers practically breaking the edge of the counter as he tried to hold back.

"Please what?" Tony asked, flicking his tongue out and licking Loki's slit.

"Please, Tony, please!" Loki felt his eyes tearing up. He couldn't say the words though. It was too embarrassing.

"Tell me what you want." Tony scissored his fingers, making Loki arch off the flour covered counter.

"Please, please suck me off." He could feel his face heat up as the words left him mouth. He couldn't believe he just said that.

"No."

"What?" Loki pushed himself up, not sure he'd heard right. When he saw the look of disgust in Tony's eyes he knew the truth of the matter.

Oh Norns he'd gone too far. He'd crossed the line.

He was suddenly empty as Tony's fingers left him. The engineer grabbed him by both ankles and before Loki could react he was pulled off the counter, landing hard on the tiled ground.

"Tony-" The contents of the bag of flour was poured right on top of him. He coughed, feeling it get caught in his throat. He was temporary blinded and when he tried to scramble to stand up he was kicked hard in the side. Loki curled in on himself, gripping his throbbing ribs as he wiped away the majority of the flour in his eyes. "Tony-"

"Shut up, you fucking Jotun whore." Loki curled in tighter on himself, wanting to cover his ears, but knowing it would do no good. He already knew what he was. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." Loki felt his head being jerked up by his hair. He let out a whimper of pain, but opened his eyes none the less. He cringed when he saw the pure hatred in Tony's eyes, and for once it didn't turn him on. "Aw, look at that," Tony mocked. "Your tears are creating lines on your flour cover face. Even when you're pretending to be an Aesir you can't hide your disgusting Jotun origins." Loki was dropped back to the ground. He tried wiping away the flour, but it only clumped on his face. "Put your clothes on before I vomit."

Loki quickly stood up on shaking legs, grabbing his discarded pants. From the corner of his eye he saw Tony washing off his hands with a sneer on his face.

"Tony, I'm sorry-"

"I thought I told you to shut up." It wasn't a question and Loki had to bite down on his tongue to stop another apology from spewing out. Tony threw a damp dishcloth at Loki once he was done with it. "Clean yourself up. We don't have much time." Loki wanted to ask him what they didn't have time for, but knew he had already gone too far. Loki wiped away at the majority of flour that was covering him. "Fix your fucking shirt. No one wants to see any of that." With shaking hands Loki tried buttoning his shirt, but the majority of buttons were missing and he kept fumbling over the few that weren't. "Are you kidding me?"

Loki's vision was swimming and his hands wouldn't stop trembling. His hands were swatted aside. Tony made fast work of the shirt, covering the majority of Loki's torso.

Loki wasn't sure if he should say thank you or beg for forgiveness.

He fell to his knees in a silent plea for mercy, saying as much as he could with just his eyes.

_I love you._

_Don't make me go._

_I'm sorry._

_I'll do better next time. _

_Please, please, please Tony. _

_I'm still useful. Please let me prove it to you. _

_I'm so sorry. _

_Please don't make me go._

_I don't want to be alone again._

_You're all I have. _

_I know I can do better. Please just give me a chance._

_I love you so much. _

_Please, I don't want to go. _

_I'll die…_

But his green eyes had no affect on the engineer. Tony grabbed Loki by his ear and began pulling him out of the kitchen. The god stumbled, forced to bend down painfully at his waist as he was led to the balcony. Every time he tripped he was pulled up roughly by his ear.

The cold outside cut right through him.

"Do you see that, Bambi?" Tony asked while shoving Loki against the railing. He grabbed Loki by his hair and forced him to look down over the balcony. Three black SUVs were parked right outside of the tower and SHIELD agents were streaming out of them. "Answer me."

"Ye-es." Loki squeaked, his voice breaking almost as much as his heart was.

"Do you know what they're going to do to you? What they're going to do to _me_?" Loki completely froze. He hadn't even considered what they'd do to Tony. If Tony got hurt because of him-

"I'm so sorry, Tony! I'll tell them whatever you want me to! I won't let them hurt you-" Loki was cut off by Tony's hollow laughter.

"You think I need _your_ help? I'm Tony Stark. At the end of the day I always come out on top." Loki was pushed down harder and the metal railing dug against his hips painfully. "Do you think I'm doing all this because I'm scared of them?"

"I'm sorry! I don't know!" The grip on his hair became tighter. He was crying so hard, but the wind swept away every drop.

"No, Loki." The words echoed in his ears a thousand times over. "I'm not afraid of SHIELD. I'm just finished with you." With that Loki was shoved over the railing.

And he was falling.

Out of Tony's life.

And into the Void.

But this time when he landed it wasn't on barren rock, it was on his bed.

Loki curled around his pillow and used it to muffle his scream.


	14. Chapter 14

By the time the sun rose Loki had completely forgotten about his dream from the night before.

He was surprised to find Tony awake and freshly showered so early in the morning. He was in the living room, a tablet in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.

"Would you like some breakfast." Loki offered quietly.

"Hmm?" Tony glanced up from his tablet. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine with whatever you want to make."

Loki quickly got to work, cooking up some eggs, sausage, and toast. He peeled an orange and pulled the wedges apart. As he cooked he glanced continuously at Tony's profile. He was so glad the engineer had stopped avoiding him. Having him around helped sooth Loki's nerves.

He served Tony his meal, placing it on the coffee table. The engineer nodded in acknowledgement and Loki grinned before going back to the kitchen to finish making his own meal.

A few minutes later he joined Tony in the living room, sitting by his feet.

"Get up." Tony ordered and Loki immediately complied, confused yet willing. "Either eat in the kitchen or sit in one of the seats." Loki hesitated before choosing the recliner across from Tony's. He ate in silence, glancing back from his plate to Tony periodically. The engineer only nibbled on his toast randomly. When Loki was done he set aside his plate and settled on just watching Tony work on the tablet. After a few minutes Loki began fidgeting. "What do you normally do when I'm not here?" Tony asked, not looking up from the tablet.

"Wait for you to comeback." Loki answered honestly. Tony snorted.

"You don't usually," Tony made a vague hand motion in Loki's direction, "stare this much."

"I don't normally get the chance to admire you." Loki ducked his head, trying to hide his blush. He knew Tony saw straight through him though. "I usually sit beside you and you pet my head."

"I don't think 'pet' is the right word." Tony popped half an orange wedge into his mouth. "Stop staring at me. It's distracting." Loki looked pointedly towards the corner of the room, just happy to be in Tony's presence after such a long absence. "Fuck, Bambi, stop grinning like you just won the lottery. It's creepy." Loki tried to school his features, but his smile only grew.

"I'm sorry." He whispered while covering his face with both hands.

"I swear you act like a love struck teenager sometimes." Tony said while standing, tucking his tablet under his arm.

"Where are you going?" Loki asked, a tinge of panic in his voice.

"I can't concentrate."

"You stay. I'll go." Loki stood hastily as he spoke. "Besides, Jarvis said there are some packages of new clothing for me that I should unpack." Loki grabbed his empty plate. "Thank you, by the way."

"New clothing for his job." Jarvis added in, before Tony could ask. The engineer eyed Loki a moment before nodding and sitting down, resuming his work on the tablet.

After putting his plate and fork in the dishwasher Loki hurried to the service elevator in the back of the penthouse. There were eight boxes. He teleported half of them and grabbed the rest. He avoided glancing at Tony as he passed by him on the way to his room.

A deadly little dagger appeared in Loki's hand before he cut open the various boxes. As quick as it appeared it disappeared. He pulled out the useless packaging before finding the various pieces of clothing. They were all very different than his usual posh and prim outfits. These new garments were looser, more relaxed, but all smelled of either warehouses or shops. He gathered an armful of them up before walking to the laundry room, once more passing by Tony. This time he did glance at him, not being able to help himself. The engineer was completely engrossed in his work. Loki was pleased to see that he had at least eaten a bit more of his breakfast.

Once the laundry was on its way to being finished Loki didn't know what to do with himself. He usually wasn't this antsy. He was still not certain if Tony was serious when he implied he wouldn't touch Loki anymore. He had refused Loki's silent invitation to pet him…

His mind just kept circling around to that prospect of never being touched again. It wasn't just about the sex either. Loki loved when Tony fucked him. In all his years no one could fuck him to the point where Loki couldn't move, the point where his brain finally shut up. Fucked him so hard Loki lost track of his own self-hatred and inadequacy.

More than that he'd miss the rare occasions where Tony just held him. It usually happened when the engineer was distracted. He'd pull Loki to his side and tuck him under his arm. Even rarer were the soft touches that were accompanied by a compliment. Those were what Loki lived for.

If he lost that… he was afraid he'd spiral out of control again.

Loki couldn't stand the uncertainty. He finally worked up the courage to just ask, but when he was at the mouth of the hallway, just at the edge of the living room he paused. He started chewing on his lip and his heart started racing, emotions teetering back and forth from paralyzing fear to hopelessness.

"You're distracting me again." Tony said without turning around. There was an edge of anger in his voice, making Loki cringe. He had been sure to move on silent feet, but Tony seemed to always know.

"I'm sorry." Loki slinked backwards.

"I won't be able to work until you ask whatever it is that's causing you to pester me." Tony called, making Loki pause and go back to the living room. Tony's brown eyes were cold, penetrating. Loki felt like he was being stripped down, every façade he once cultured being destroyed. Tony always made him feel raw, but it had been a long time since he felt this exposed in the engineer's presence. "Well?"

Loki took in a breath and focused on the spot right above Tony's head, not able to look him in the eyes.

"When we were in the lab you mentioned not touching me again. I was wondering if you meant it." Loki refrained from the onslaught of pleas and flawed arguments on why Tony should never ever stop touching him that came to mind.

Tony stared at the god. Loki could feel himself tensing further with each passing moment. He was close to collapsing in on himself when Tony finally spoke.

"Come here, Lokes." Tony moved to the couch and gestured to the spot next to him. Loki held back his smile and joined him. He kept a bit of distance between them, trying not to get ahead of himself. "It's best that we stop fucking and doing anything sexual with each other." Tony said evenly and Loki's eyes dropped down to his lap, tears already blurring his vision.

It was over… truly over. No one would ever touch him again. He'd be left alone in the dark, curled in a ball while touching himself-

"Pay attention, Reindeer Games." Tony said, snapping Loki out of his spiraling thoughts. "You're touch starved. That's one of the reasons you're so fucked up. To cut you off completely would just complicate things and I don't want you to flinch every time someone else touches you the way you did when your measurements were taken." Loki didn't remember flinching. All he remembered was being annoyed at that woman who dared to touch Tony. "Lay down with your head in my lap- and remember this is not sexual, so I don't want you nuzzling my equipment." Loki felt himself blush for some reason. He pushed down his sudden embarrassment and hesitance before doing as he was told, resting his head on Tony's thigh and trying to even out his breathing. "If this becomes too much go to your room and do whatever you need to do to calm down. Do you understand?"

"Yeah." Loki was surprised by how weak his voice was.

Tony picked up his tablet with one hand and began playing with Loki's hair with the other.

Loki let out a silent sigh of relief, his eyes fluttering shut against his will. He wanted to watch the lightening fast expressions that Tony randomly displayed when he was speed reading. They were barely discernible and would go unnoticed by most. Loki loved being able to see them, to understand them.

But this was better, so much better.

He could feel the solid warmth beneath him of Tony's thigh, the slight tug and dragging as he twisted Loki's hair around his fingers then unwound it. Tony scraped his blunt nails on Loki's scalp and the god had to suppress a shiver. He didn't want to distract Tony from his work after all.

Tony's hand dipped lower. He brushed a thumb over Loki's cheekbone before tracing his jaw line.

This was different, different than the 'good job' pats on the shoulder or post-fuck groping. It wasn't the careless actions he usually did when playing with Loki's hair. This was… almost tender and Loki didn't know how to react.

Tony's hand drifted to the back of Loki's neck, scratching his hairline before sweeping over Loki's shoulder, making the god regret wearing a long-sleeved shirt. Calloused fingers followed the contours of Loki's arm. His touch went back up, ghosting over the apple of Loki's throat then following his collarbone. The touch strayed to his forehead, resting there for a moment before he started tracing the features of Loki's face. The dip of his eye, the rise of his cheekbone, his eyebrows, and the ridge of his nose, but not his mouth, not his lips. Tony's fingers rested a moment on the shell of Loki's ear before returning to long black hair.

"Lokes, you need to calm down." Tony whispered softly. Loki didn't understand what he meant at first, until he realized his breathing was stuttered and he was letting out broken sobs. "Can you hear me?" Loki nodded and could feel the tears that Tony had wiped away earlier already being replaced by more. He heard Tony set aside his tablet, but Loki didn't want to open his eyes to be sure. Tony shifted beneath him slightly and Loki let out an involuntary whimper. "It's alright. Come here."

Strong hands maneuvered him onto his side and Loki immediately buried his face against Tony's stomach, consequences be damned. Loki latched onto Tony, not able to hold back his body wracking sobs.

Tony kept carding his fingers through Loki's hair with one hand and rubbing comforting circles on his back.

Loki didn't even know why he was crying. It was like everything was just pouring out of him and if he didn't hold onto Tony he'd drown in it.

"I'm-" Loki began, but another sob ripped through him. "-m sorry!" He should pull away, go to his room like Tony had suggested earlier, but he couldn't bring himself to move, not with Tony holding him. "I'm sorry." His words were slurred and muffled against Tony's now wet shirt.

"Shh, it's alright Lokes." Tony said soothingly, pulling Loki closer to him. It only made him cry harder.

The god wanted to see his expression, to know if he'd gone too far, but he didn't want Tony to see him like this, despite the fact that he'd seen him completely strung out more than once after a thorough fucking. This was different though and Loki didn't understand why. Maybe it was the rhythmic hand on his back or the calloused fingers that ran through his hair. Or maybe it's because no one had ever held him why he cried.

Whatever the reason, Loki wasn't going to let go until Tony told him to.


	15. Chapter 15

Loki woke up feeling completely spent. He looked around and surmised that he was in the living room and it was early evening. Tony was nowhere to be seen.

Loki tried to sniffle as he sat up, but he was completely congested and his eyes felt dry.

"Sir left you a message." Jarvis announced, startling Loki. Before he could respond Tony's voice came over the intercom.

_"Hey Lokes, the Avengers were called to assemble. Just so you know you're not in trouble and I'm not mad at you. Don't know when I'll be back. Pep is in Germany. Hold down the fort for me." _

Loki let out a relieved breath. He hadn't even been awake long enough to begin berating himself for crying like some lost child. He probably ruined Tony's shirt with all his tears and snot.

"How is he not mad at me?" Loki mumbled as he stood, determined to sate his parched throat. Three glasses of water later he was resting his head on the cold granite counter. "Jarvis, what did I do?"

"Cried for approximately 86 minutes before falling asleep still clinging to Sir." He hadn't actually expected the AI to respond to him.

"What was Tony's expression?"

"If you wanted to know that then you should have looked up as it happened." Jarvis' voice was lacking its usual sarcastic edge that the AI usually took when speaking to the god. It made Loki suspicious, but he was too tired to actually ponder the reason.

Loki grabbed a snack before heading back to the living room. He turned on the TV and quickly found a news network that was broadcasting the Avengers live. His eyes widened when he recognized the 'villain'.

"Amora…" He hissed her name, regretting ever showing her one of the secret passages between the realms.

He watched for a moment as she dodged an attack from Tony. She had an oversized man with her and Loki vaguely remembered her introducing them once. He couldn't remember his name though. Something with an S or a T perhaps…

The goliath was keeping the Hulk busy. The two SHIELD agents were nowhere to be seen, leaving Iron Man and the captain to take care of the sorceress. A ball of energy flew from her hand aimed directly at Tony's arc reactor. Loki clinched his jaw, but Iron Man dodged at the last moment. Captain America tried to take advantage of her brief moment of distraction by hurling his shield at her, but she caught it easily while twirling around and laughing obnoxiously. Amora tossed it directly at the helicopter that was taping the whole situation. Loki's eyes widened as he recognized the maneuver.

_"Amora." _He whispered her name, imbuing it with magic. The sorceress froze and Iron Man caught the shield before it could hit the helicopter. Amora snapped back into the fight and Loki could see her anger flare to life when she realized she missed her opportunity to shoot Iron Man as he went to intercept the shield.

_"Loki, it has been a while. Are you coming to join me?" _Her voice sounded like she was whispering into his ear and he could see the words form on her lips.

_"Thor is not on Midgard."_

_"I'm well aware."_ Hulk tossed Amora's companion into the ocean and charged at her. She let out a few choice curse words, dodging him and sending a spell at the captain. _"Yet you have not answered my question, Silvertongue." _

_"Indeed I have not." _He'd played this game with her a thousand times when they had been acquaintances, never friends. No questions were ever truly answered.

_"The fallen prince who no one has seen since his temper tantrum on Midgard…. I'm honored to be the first to hear from you." _Her sarcasm was biting, but he pushed aside his anger.

_"You speak of temper tantrums as if you're not having one right now."_ Loki let his chuckle reverberate in her head. She teleported to the spot in the ocean her companion was wading water, grabbing his hand before teleporting them back into the middle of the fight.

_"Just having a bit of fun, love." _It was the nickname she used for every male she encountered, yet still irked him.

_"A word of warning, since we're old friends," _on screen he could see her raise an eyebrow at that, _"the Aesir guards are coming to collect you and Thor is not among them."_

_"You are privy to the comings and goings of Asgard?"_

_"Only when they're particularly loud. I was wondering what caught their attention and found you to be the source."_ Captain America hurled his shield again and it hit Amora's companion straight on his head, making the tall man stumble. Iron Man blasted him three times in the chest in quick succession before Amora sent a wave of green magic out, pushing everyone away from her.

_"So you're hiding in Asgard. How bold of you." _She hummed in delight and Loki could feel his anger starting to break through. He took a moment to compose himself.

_"I never said I was on Asgard."_ He knew no matter what he said she'd already decided she was right. _"Regardless, I doubt you'll have as much luck finding a way out of the dungeons as I did. Of course you can always try to seduce one of the guards." _Loki chuckled. _"They put a muzzle on me when I was captured so I couldn't weave a tale. Perhaps they'll just put a bag over your head so you can't use those pretty eyes of yours to seduce." _On screen she pouted, making Loki laugh harder.

_"Thor will be mine."_

_"By all means, have him." _

_"Till next time, Liesmith." _She summoned her companion to her side.

_"Enchantress." _He said simply and she disappeared a moment later, severing their link.

Loki let out a shaky breath before slumping onto the couch. He'd forgotten how absolutely tiring it was to pretend to be that person. The half truths and deceptions, intimidations and threats, schemes and tricks… Loki didn't understand how he used to live like that. He used to be constantly miserable, only briefly happy when a plan came to fruition.

So alone…

But that was his past. Now he had Tony. Well, more accurately, Tony had him.

Everything was simpler here. It was the only place he didn't have to pretend, to lie. And he was with someone he loved. And for some unfathomable reason Tony allowed him to stay.

"Jarvis, how long until Tony gets home?"

"Sir should be arriving in an hour and a half." Jarvis reported. Loki nodded, putting together a meal in his head. The stress from his conversation with Amora fell away as he started cooking.

Other worries took their place.

"Jarvis, I don't know how to act around Tony anymore." The AI did not respond immediately and Loki wondered if that was because he was consulting with his maker.

"So long as you don't touch him or Ms. Potts without invitation and you don't turn back to your criminal ways there's not much you can do to sabotage yourself. Just be reasonable and you shouldn't run into any problems." Jarvis' words were of no comfort to Loki and he started sinking back into his thoughts, gnawing away at his lip.

How was he going to be useful now that they weren't fucking? Tony had already seen the majority of his spells and abilities. Loki's cooking was good, but not that good, and Tony hardly ate as is.

Loki let out a little whimper and tried to blink away tears, but it did not work. Tony was allowing him to stay, but for how long? And with this new job Tony had ordered him to get he'd be out of the tower. What if his and Tony's schedules made it so they never saw each other? What if he lost control and hurt the humans, especially the children. Tony would never forgive him. What if this was some big trick where the second he left they'd lock him out and he'd never be able to see Tony again other than on TV? What if SHIELD found him? What if they traced him back to Tony?

The scenarios kept swirling in Loki's head and he could feel himself panicking, losing his good senses, each breath of air became more labored than the last.

What if Amora figured out he wasn't in Asgard? What if she tried to steal Tony from him? Or worse, she told Tony that he is a Jotun ice monster.

Loki sunk down onto the floor, trying to gain control of his breathing. He'd already broken down once today. Another would be redundant and just make Tony regret ever letting Loki into his home.

Nothing helped though and Loki just slid further into chaos, letting out a sob as he curled up in a corner.

What good was he beyond fucking?

He was just a house whore, a warm hole, a distraction. Tony said as much and Loki knew that Tony never lied to him, even when lying would have been easier.

Loki buried his hands in his hair, pulling on the dark locks.

He was so stupid and twisted, getting hard at the memory of Tony's cruel words.

Loki laughed hysterically through his tears.

He always ended up like this, crying in a corner, tugging at his hair, and rocking himself slightly in hopes of friction.

He was so hard. Hard and alone.

Loki palmed himself through the jeans he was wearing, stroking his cock through the fabric. It wasn't enough though. _Loki _wasn't enough and he never would be.

He undid his jeans and freed his cock. Loki let out a broken moan as he began thrusting into his own fist. Tony would never touch him like this again. No one ever would.

Loki just wanted to feel something. He wanted Tony to make everything alright again- for Tony to love him, love a pathetic monster.

He made breathless little noises as he stroked himself. It still wasn't enough.

Why wasn't it enough?

Why wasn't he ever enough?"

Loki growled in frustration while pulling and kicking his jeans the rest of the way off.

An idea sparked to life in his mind. He needed to be filled, to be pushed into so thoroughly that all his thoughts became quiet.

The way Tony used to fuck him.

He crawled to the fridge, ripping the door open before clawing at the bottom drawer, pulling out a cucumber. Without any preparation or lube he shoved it inside of himself, hissing at the stinging pain as he was stretched instantly. It hurt so much it was almost paralyzing, but Loki_ needed _this.

He needed the thought to stop.

Loki brought himself back up to his knees and knocked aside everything that was on the bottom shelf of the fridge then he used the shelf to support his upper body. He fucked himself with the cucumber and stroked his cock at a violent pace.

"Please…" He begged for release, for Tony. "Please, please, please-" It wasn't enough. It still wasn't enough. Loki let out a frustrated sob before hitting his forehead down on the cold shelf, causing it to crack. "Please!" He tried to angle the cucumber to hit his prostate, but he kept missing. His hole was still throbbing from the sudden intrusion. And it wasn't enough.

Loki wasn't enough.

"You pathetic piece of shit. Look at you!" Loki shouted at himself. "Do you want to get kicked out? Because this is how you get kicked out! You're disgusting. You're useless. How dare you damage the fridge?! It costs more than you're worth!" The cucumber hit his prostate and the god let out a keening noise. "Tony's going to call SHIELD when he sees how fucked up you are! They're going to laugh at you! They'll point and sneer! You'll be the laughing stock of all nine realms! You disgusting- Jotun whore! Unwanted child! Monster! No one will ever touch you again!"

Loki's whole body grew taut. He shoved the cucumber inside himself once more as he came. His mind shattering into silence as he let out a single whimper.

What little strength he had left disappeared and he fell forward, slumping inside the fridge. He stared at the leftovers from two nights ago as he panted raggedly. His gasps quickly changed to sobs that shook his whole body.

"I'm sorry." Loki whispered, too tired to move and too distressed to use his magic. He was stuck like this. He couldn't even remove the cucumber. He could smell the food burning on the stove, hear the water boiling over. He could feel the broken bottle of ketchup slime his leg, the glass scraping against his skin. "I'm so sorry." He squeezed his eyes shut and wished he could just disappear.


	16. Chapter 16

When Tony got back just under an hour later Loki was still in the same position, half his body laying in the fridge while the lower half was sprawled out, a cucumber still firmly set between two pale cheeks.

Loki began crying harder when he heard Jarvis taking apart the Iron Man suit. A thousand scenarios on what Tony would say when he saw Loki like this were going through his head. Tony's footsteps sounded like a death march. Loki couldn't see him as he entered the kitchen, but he could feel him. He could feel him taking in every detail of the scene in front of him.

"I'm sorry Tony-"

"Hush." The authority in Tony's voice made Loki bite his lip to stay silent, almost breaking the skin. He could hear Tony moving near him. Loki tried to turn his head to see, but it was too painful. A strong arm wrapped around his torso, Tony's hand sprawled over Loki's chest. Another lifted him by his hips and he let out a pained whimper as he was moved out of the fridge and laid on his side on the floor, his back facing Tony. One of his legs was lifted and he felt the cucumber shift. "Fuck Lokes. Please tell me you used lube." Loki screwed his eyes shut, just trying to pretend this was all some dream. "Answer me." The authority was back in Tony's voice.

"No." Loki croaked, even more embarrassed by how broken his voice was. The cucumber shifted again and he hoped that was because Tony was removing it.

"You need to relax or I won't be able to get it out. You have it in there pretty deeply." Loki shook his head as best he could considering he was laying on his side and didn't have enough energy to move. "Loki, relax. I am here now. I am in control of this situation. Everything will be fine so long as you follow my directions." Loki felt some of the tension that was coiled in his muscles unravel. "Very good." Tony hitched Loki's leg a bit higher. He tried to keep his breathing even as the cucumber start to move. It was painful. He felt like something was clawing at his insides. "Calm down, relax." Loki took in a deep breath and tried to do as he was told. Every inch that came out felt more painful than the last and Loki could barely hold it together. When it finally cleared his oversensitive hole he let out a hysterical laugh. "I'm going to check you for any tears. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Two fingers slowly entered him. He had to hold back a hiss as his hole quivered around them. Tony's fingers moved slowly over the swollen flesh. Loki yelped as the flesh Tony was touching caught on fire. "Please stop!" He tried to move away from the pain, but couldn't.

"Hold on." Tony moved from the spot that burned before pulling out. Tony sighed and Loki cringed. "You have at least one tear. If they're more they're too deep for me to find without proper equipment." Tony reached over him to a dishtowel. There was blood on his middle and pointer fingers. "We need to get you cleaned up properly." Tony lifted Loki's head and placed the folded dishtowel under it. "I'm going to go run a bath. Do you need anything before I go?"

"No." Loki whispered, not wanting Tony to go. He could hear Tony's retreating footsteps. Now that the cucumber was gone Loki wasn't completely paralyzed. He bent his knees further and flinched when his insides stung. "So stupid. Stupid, stupid child." He cursed at himself, fresh out of tears.

He'd gone too far this time and was certain Tony was only cleaning him up just to kick him out. Jarvis had said that so long as Loki was reasonable then everything would be fine. Fucking one's self to the point of exhaustion while wrecking a kitchen probably did not fall into the category of 'reasonable'.

Tony reappeared a moment later.

"I doubt you can stand… should have left my suit on." Tony mumbled. "Fuck, haven't really carried anyone since MIT." Tony kneeled behind him. "Alright Dasher, I'm going to lift you up. I need you to sling your arm over my shoulder when I do and hold onto me. Can you do that?" Loki tested his arms. He had minimal control, but it would be enough.

"Yeah, I can."

An arm was slipped below Loki's knees and another under his arms. He gasped as he was jostled before he remembered he needed to help. He lifted his shaking arm, looping it behind Tony's neck before digging his fingers into the soft fabric of his undersuit. His head lolled to the side, falling onto Tony's shoulder.

The engineer groaned as he stood up. He readjusted his hold on Loki, giving the god a better view of the mess he caused. Food and half dried liquids were streaked over the white tiles. One of the shelves in the fridge had a long crack down the middle and all the food was on its way to being spoiled.

"The stove." He warned, remember that he had been in the middle of cooking when he broke down.

"Jarvis turned it off when he realized you weren't getting back up." Tony explained, trying to make his steps as even as possible. The god was surprised when he saw that they were heading towards Tony's room. He could hear water flowing. "I'm going to set you down on the edge of the tub so that only your thighs are touching it. You need to hold onto my shoulders for support as I wipe the majority of this gunk off you." Loki nodded, idly noticing how the fabric of the undersuit felt strange to him. Loki held back a gasp as he was maneuvered to the edge. His hands fisted on Tony's shoulders as he tried to maintain his balance.

The engineer grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off Loki's soiled shirt. He tossed aside the rag and grabbed a washcloth he had placed close by earlier, dipping it into the warm water. Loki couldn't read his expression as he began wiping away the crusted on foods and sauces. It wasn't the anger or annoyance Loki had been expecting.

The washcloth felt like heaven on his skin. He was already feeling less like a child who had played in the gutter, though the self-hatred was just the same. When the cloth was red from ketchup and whatever else he'd spilled Tony threw it on the tattered pile of Loki's old shirt. He grabbed another and repeated the process until the majority of crud was gone.

"Can you keep yourself balanced while I take this off?" Tony gestured to his undersuit. Loki nodded, trying to hide the way his eyes lit up at the prospect of Tony undressing. The engineer gave him a knowing look and Loki reminded himself how much he fucked everything up.

He couldn't hide his disappointment when Tony kept his boxers on. Tony turned off the water before putting one leg in the tub, sitting down so that he was straddling the edge.

"This is going to sting." Tony warned and Loki could see a fresh bruise starting to bloom across the engineer's side. Damn Amora.

"I know." Loki responded, he could feel his emotions starting to shut down.

Tony helped Loki into the tub and true to his word it did sting. He found himself settled between Tony's legs, leaning against his chest. He hadn't really expected Tony to follow him in, let alone be used as a backrest and support for the stupid god who let panic take him.

"You've calmed down." Tony observed while squirting soap onto a sponge.

"I've cried everything out. I'm not capable of feeling emotions right now, too tired, too spent." Loki sighed softly as the sponge was trailed up his arm, circling his shoulder twice.

"Interesting." The sponge dipped down to Loki's chest. He was reminded of earlier when Tony was caressing him lightly.

"I've had worse, I'll have you know." Loki said without thought.

"Hmm?"

"I've had worse pain. I've been ran through with swords, had limbs nearly severed, and bones crushed. I've even had my guts pulled out. I don't understand why I couldn't move." Loki rested his head against Tony's shoulder and let his eyes flutter shut. Tony didn't respond immediately and Loki was fine with that, so long as he kept washing him.

"It wasn't the physical pain that kept you from moving. It was the emotional and mental pain." Tony dipped the sponge in the water, wringing it out before adding more soap. "There's a difference between getting a wound in battle from an enemy than a self inflicted wound done in a safe place, even if it was on accident. I assume it was on accident."

"It was." Loki confirmed.

"On the outside you're fine, but on this inside you're all sorts of fucked up and I'm partially to blame for that."

"I'm too tired to have this conversation again."

"And you even denied me something. I think I like this tired version of you."

"I'll endeavor to hurt myself more often." Loki drawled out.

"Oh and he has sass. I definitely like this version of you."

"Shame that he'll be gone after I rest." Loki could already feel the panic edging at his consciousness.

"I'm sure I'll see him again, someday." Tony moved slightly. "Scoot forward I need to wash your hair. It smells like mashed potatoes." Loki used the edges of the tub to lift himself slightly before settling down a few inches further down. "Good enough." Tony wrung out the sponge again before filling it with water. "Close your eyes." Water cascaded over his head before fingers started working their way into his locks. "Can you wash your lower half? It's a bit out of my reach."

"I'm capable." Loki said dryly plucking up the floating sponge.

"I'm sure, your highness." Tony's voice was dripping with sarcasm. The Loki before the fall would have been insulted and annoyed. The Loki from the time of his fall up to the point Tony talked to him would have tried to kill him. The Loki from this morning would have berated himself. The current Loki couldn't be bothered by such a harmless comment.

He continued washing himself, ignoring the pain in his lower back and insides. They'd be all healed up by morning anyway. After a while he handed Tony the sponge again and the engineer used it to wash the suds out of Loki's hair. Tony worked conditioner into the long black hair and Loki wondered what was going through his head.

"Are you angry at me?" He finally asked after working up the energy to do so.

"Would it matter to you if I was?" Tony countered.

"It will when I wake up." Loki sunk further into the water, fighting to stay awake.

"I'm madder at myself than I am at you." Tony washed the conditioner out of Loki's hair.

"I don't understand." Loki furrowed his brow trying to make sense, despite his brain being addled by exhaustion.

"You're my responsibility, a part of my household." Tony wrapped his arms around Loki's chest hoisting him up so he wouldn't sink further into the water. "You're mine." Tony bit into Loki's shoulder, startling him away from the edging unconsciousness.

"I thought you said we wouldn't be doing anything sexual." Loki grinned, rubbing himself against the engineer. Tony put a bit of space between them.

"There was nothing sexual about that bite. You're mine, even if we're not fucking." Tony stated simply. "It's time to get out of here. I'm starting to prune and you're starting to doze." Tony helped the god stand and step out of the tub. He dried him off quickly. "You're sleeping with me tonight."

"I'll be a mess in the morning."

"Which is exactly why you're going to be in my bed." He guided him out of the bathroom, downturning the sheets. He carefully pushed Loki onto the bed.

"Will you do me one favor?" Loki asked, unable to open his eyes back up.

"Let me hear it then I'll answer you."

"Just don't lie to me. Too many people have lied to me."

"Hmm, I'll do my best, but no guarantees. I have to keep the world safe and those I love safe. You're dangerous when you want to be." Tony tucked the blankets up to Loki's chin.

"I'm not dangerous to you." He mumbled, holding back a yawn.

"I'm not worried about me." Loki felt a tender touch on his forehead coupled with the scratching of Tony's goatee. A kiss then. He wiggled further into the bed before easily falling asleep.


End file.
